You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter: - describe what furniture you need - ask whether the shop has these items - ask what the items cost
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inquire about the availability of some furniture I wish to purchase. A friend has recommended your store to me for purchasing inexpensive second-hand furniture which happens to be in the shopping centre in the Blue Bird square. I have recently purchased a flat and need some furniture. In this context, I would like to know the cost of certain items which I require for my unfurnished apartment. I would appreciate a quotation for a pair of sofa set with two side tables, a dining table comprising of eight chairs, a centre table and items required in the bedroom like the king-size bed, a dressing table and one wooden almirah of not more than seven feet height. Please send me the best possible price which you can offer for those items. Apart from this, you must categorically mention any other cost that might incur from the purchase including the transportation cost and VAT. I have also been informed by my friend that you offer a cash discount for purchases over $500. In this respect, I would further like to inform you that I will pay the total amount in one go and purchase items more than 500 dollar's worth. So I am expecting a discount. In anticipation of an early reply. Yours faithfully, Neeraj Mehra
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove formulaic wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The word “letter” is unnecessary because the format is already clear.
- 2. Match the task Original: purchased Suggested revision: rented Why it matters: The task states that the flat has been rented, not purchased.
- 3. Clarify the link Original: In this context Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: This connector more directly links the need for furniture to the request for prices.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: items which I require Suggested revision: items I need Why it matters: This is clearer and less formalistic without changing the meaning.
- 5. Fix noun phrase Original: a pair of sofa set Suggested revision: a sofa set Why it matters: A single set should not be introduced as “a pair of.”
- 6. Fix comprise construction Original: comprising of Suggested revision: with Why it matters: “Comprise” does not take “of” in this construction.
- 7. Use correct article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The bed is being introduced for the first time, so the indefinite article is required.
- 8. Use widely understood term Original: almirah Suggested revision: wardrobe Why it matters: “Wardrobe” is more broadly understood in international English.
- 9. Fix measurement form Original: height Suggested revision: high Why it matters: A measurement after a noun uses the adjective “high,” not the noun “height.”
- 10. Make request concise Original: the best possible price which you can offer Suggested revision: the best price you can offer Why it matters: This removes unnecessary wording while retaining the polite pricing request.
- 11. Use additive connector Original: Apart from this Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: The new point adds to the pricing request rather than presenting an exception.
- 12. Soften the request Original: you must categorically mention Suggested revision: please specify Why it matters: This maintains an appropriately polite register when writing to a shop owner.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- purchased rented
- In this context Therefore
- items which I require items I need
- a pair of sofa set a sofa set
- comprising of with
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a clear purchasing purpose and gives a comprehensive list of the furniture and pricing information required. However, the availability request is only partly explicit, and recurring awkward collocations, grammatical slips, and an occasionally demanding tone reduce precision and naturalness. Prioritise asking directly whether each item is in stock, then request an itemised quotation in consistently polite language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The needed furniture and request for prices are well developed, while availability is addressed mainly through the opening rather than a direct question.
Ask explicitly whether the listed second-hand items are currently available and soften requests about extra costs and discounts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from its purpose to the furniture list, additional charges, and discount, but linking is sometimes mechanical and paragraphing is absent.
Group the content into paragraphs for the enquiry, required items, and pricing or delivery questions, using fewer formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe the transaction in detail, but several collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use standard phrases such as “a sofa set,” “a dining table with eight chairs,” and “costs that may be incurred.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex sentences, though errors with articles, prepositions, possession, and clause construction recur across the letter.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns, especially “comprising eight chairs,” “more than $500 worth,” and “costs that may be incurred.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the Opportunity Shop in the shopping centre has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter:
- describe what furniture you need
- ask whether the shop has these items
- ask what the items cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.