Write a letter to a friend who works in a foreign country about your interest in seeking employment in a different country. In your letter: - explain why you want to work in a different country - say what type of work you will be looking for - ask questions about working in a different country that your friend may be able to answer
Sample Response
Dear Sindhu, Hope this letter finds you and your family in good health. I am sorry for not writing to you for a long but I guess you can realise my hectic schedule for the past couple of weeks since I wrote about it in my previous letter. I have decided to work in Australia and expecting your opinion regarding this. Now, a sigh of relief! My project works are complete and I am looking for a new opportunity to work abroad. You know me well - I have always wanted to make life enjoyable by making positive changes and I have recently decided to work and live in a multi-cultural environment. I think it would be fascinating to socialise with people of different origins while I can further enhance my career and live in a better environment. Thus I am looking forward to getting a job in Biomedical Engineering, as I always did, in Australia as a permanent employee either in a manufacturing or a service-related company. So, I need some information from you since you have already been to different countries and now in Australia in the same industry. Is it mandatory for me to get a work permit or can I migrate with a temporary work visa and later find a job? Should I take any exams like IELTS or TOEFL? If so what would be the score requirement? And finally, can I apply for some jobs before moving to Australia? Looking forward to hearing your response in this regard. We will find some time soon. Convey my regards to your family. Warm wishes, Nivetha
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete time phrase Original: for a long but Suggested revision: for a long time, but Why it matters: 'For a long' needs 'time', and the coordinated clauses require a comma.
- 2. Use natural expression Original: realise my hectic schedule Suggested revision: understand how hectic my schedule has been Why it matters: The original collocation is unnatural and does not express the time period clearly.
- 3. Use uncountable noun Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: 'Work' is uncountable when referring generally to project tasks.
- 4. Avoid repeated wording Original: make life enjoyable by making positive changes Suggested revision: improve my life through positive changes Why it matters: The replacement removes repetition of 'make' and expresses the idea more directly.
- 5. Use standard spelling Original: multi-cultural Suggested revision: multicultural Why it matters: The closed form is the standard modern spelling.
- 6. Keep verbs parallel Original: while I can further enhance my career and live Suggested revision: while also enhancing my career and living Why it matters: The two coordinated benefits should use parallel verb forms.
- 7. Use lowercase field Original: Biomedical Engineering Suggested revision: biomedical engineering Why it matters: An academic or professional field is normally lowercase in running text.
- 8. Correct time reference Original: as I always did Suggested revision: as I have done previously Why it matters: The present perfect matches a continuing career history leading to the current plan.
- 9. Simplify company types Original: a manufacturing or a service-related company Suggested revision: a manufacturing or service company Why it matters: The shorter coordination is natural and preserves the intended alternatives.
- 10. Use correct movement phrase Original: migrate with a temporary work visa Suggested revision: move to Australia on a temporary work visa Why it matters: A person moves to a country on a visa rather than migrates with one.
- 11. Use precise example marker Original: take any exams like Suggested revision: take any tests such as Why it matters: 'Such as' introduces examples more precisely, and IELTS and TOEFL are tests.
- 12. Add conditional comma Original: If so what Suggested revision: If so, what Why it matters: The introductory conditional phrase requires a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- for a long but for a long time, but
- realise my hectic schedule understand how hectic my schedule has been
- works work
- make life enjoyable by making positive changes improve my life through positive changes
- multi-cultural multicultural
- while I can further enhance my career and live while also enhancing my career and living
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter responds thoroughly to all three points, giving clear personal and professional reasons, identifying a precise employment field, and asking several useful questions in a friendly tone. Its main weakness is language control: awkward collocations and incomplete grammatical patterns occasionally make otherwise strong ideas sound unnatural. Prioritise concise paragraphing by purpose and revise faulty constructions, particularly the sentence about deciding to work in Australia and expecting advice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully developed with relevant reasons, a specific Biomedical Engineering preference, and practical questions about visas, tests, and applications.
Trim the extended social opening and closing so the employment purpose remains the letter's clearest focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a logical sequence from motivation to job preferences and questions, but the lack of paragraph breaks makes the long letter less easy to navigate.
Give each task point its own paragraph and keep the questions together in a final body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate to employment and migration, though phrases such as 'project works', 'realise my hectic schedule', and 'hear your response' are unnatural.
Replace awkward combinations with idiomatic forms such as 'project work', 'understand how busy I have been', and 'hear from you'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, but several faulty patterns remain, including 'I have decided to work in Australia and expecting your opinion'.
Maintain parallel verb forms and check for omitted auxiliaries, writing 'I have decided ... and would appreciate your opinion' and 'you are now in Australia'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to a friend who works in a foreign country about your interest in seeking employment in a different country. In your letter:
- explain why you want to work in a different country
- say what type of work you will be looking for
- ask questions about working in a different country that your friend may be able to answer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.