Write a letter to a friend who works in a foreign country about your interest in seeking employment in a different country. In your letter: - explain why you want to work in a different country - say what type of work you will be looking for - ask questions about working in a different country that your friend may be able to answer
Sample Response
Dear Rahul, Hope all is fine and you are enjoying your vacation. I am writing to seek your advice on working in Singapore and need your help and guidance regarding this. I am hoping that you can share your opinion with me. The foremost reason for choosing Singapore to work in is that the country invites skilled employees from all around the world. The experience and expertise I have achieved over the past five years can be judiciously and prudently utilised to get a permanent job in a company in Singapore. Moreover, the remuneration and facilities in the IT sector in Singapore is unmatched, according to my findings. This, however, does not mean that I will be opt-in for a job easily and I understand that migrating to a new country has its demerits. I plan to apply for opportunities that would be limited to the subjects over which I possess core competency, which includes "Programming" and "Artificial Intelligence". It is in this respect that I need your guidance. I would be thankful if you can guide me on the work culture that is followed and is acceptable in Singapore. Apart from this, I also want to know the attitude of the locals towards the foreign nationals who work in such companies as their counterparts. Since you have spent a considerable amount of time working there, it would be quite convenient for you to compare the basic requirements, expectations and behavioural changes that one undergoes during the transitional phase. I would be thankful if you could help me by sharing your valuable experience in this regard. Warm wishes, Neeraj
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: on Suggested revision: about Why it matters: ‘Advice about’ is the more natural collocation for introducing the topic on which guidance is wanted.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: regarding Suggested revision: with Why it matters: ‘With this’ refers more naturally to the practical process of seeking work abroad.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: achieved Suggested revision: gained Why it matters: Experience and expertise are gained or acquired rather than achieved.
- 4. Remove inflated wording Original: judiciously and prudently utilised Suggested revision: used effectively Why it matters: The two adverbs are redundant and make this friendly letter unnecessarily formal.
- 5. Fix subject agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The compound subject ‘remuneration and facilities’ requires the plural verb ‘are’.
- 6. Repair the verb phrase Original: will be opt-in for a job easily Suggested revision: will easily secure a job Why it matters: ‘Be opt-in for’ is not a grammatical verb construction in this context.
- 7. Use polite modal Original: if you can guide me Suggested revision: if you could advise me Why it matters: ‘Could’ fits the polite request pattern established elsewhere in the letter.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: work culture that is followed and is acceptable Suggested revision: accepted workplace culture Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the same idea without the awkward passive wording.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I plan to apply for opportunities that would be limited to the subjects over which I possess core competency, which includes "Programming" and "Artificial Intelligence". Suggested revision: I plan to apply only for roles in my areas of expertise, which include programming and artificial intelligence. Why it matters: The revision corrects the unclear reference and agreement while preserving the intended job fields.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Since you have spent a considerable amount of time working there, it would be quite convenient for you to compare the basic requirements, expectations and behavioural changes that one undergoes during the transitional phase. Suggested revision: Since you have worked there for a considerable time, could you explain the main requirements, expectations and adjustments involved in moving to Singapore? Why it matters: The revision turns the abstract statement into a clear question that directly fulfils the request bullet point.
Suggested Rewrites
- on about
- regarding with
- achieved gained
- judiciously and prudently utilised used effectively
- is are
- will be opt-in for a job easily will easily secure a job
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses all three content requirements with specific reasons for choosing Singapore, a clear IT focus and several relevant questions for the friend. Its main limitation is an excessively formal, sometimes awkward register for a personal letter, with a few grammatical lapses and repeated requests for guidance. The highest priority is to use more natural language between friends while keeping the detailed questions concise and clearly grouped.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are developed with relevant detail, but the markedly formal register is not consistently suitable for writing to a friend.
Retain the specific reasons and questions while expressing them in a warmer, more conversational tone appropriate to Rahul.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from reasons to job interests and questions, although repeated requests for guidance add some redundancy.
Group the work-culture and local-attitude questions together and remove duplicated statements of gratitude and purpose.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary communicates detailed ideas, but choices such as "judiciously and prudently", "opt-in for a job" and "demerits" sound strained.
Choose natural personal-letter expressions such as "put my experience to good use", "find a job" and "challenges".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally controlled, with occasional agreement and verb-form errors that do not obscure meaning.
Check forms such as "facilities are unmatched", "I will be able to find" and "competencies include" during proofreading.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to a friend who works in a foreign country about your interest in seeking employment in a different country. In your letter:
- explain why you want to work in a different country
- say what type of work you will be looking for
- ask questions about working in a different country that your friend may be able to answer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.