You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information: - what kind of business you want to start - how much money you need - the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the possibility of a business loan from your bank to finance a new business I plan to launch soona startup business I have planned to commence soon. I hope you can provideI am hoping you would provide me with information about the required documentssome information and document requirements so that I can apply for the loan. I have graduated fromcompleted my graduation from the University of Edison and I majored in marketingmy major was marketing. Now I am interested in startinginterested to start a coffee shop of my own and need a loan to support it. I own the premises for the shopown the location of the shop and have prior experience workingsome prior experience of working at a large coffee shop. A business-planning firmA business outlining firm responsible for the business plan has suggested that $10,000 in startup capital is requireda capital requirement of $10,000 for the coffee shop. I can finance half of the required capital50% of the fund requirement and need another $5,000$5000 as a loan from your bank. My father would be willing to act as guarantorready to be a guarantor for the loan and I can repay the loan amount with interest within 2 years. However, I need a three-month grace periodthree months' grace period before I start making monthly repaymentsrepaying my monthly instalment. I would really appreciate it if you could send me details of the loan including the interest rates, monthly instalment amount and so on. Could you also send meAlso, forward me the documents I need to complete and submitfill in and submit to actually apply for the loan. Yours faithfully, James Moore
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly identifies the proposed coffee shop, requests the exact $5,000 needed, and specifies repayment within two years after a three-month grace period. Its strongest feature is the detailed, credible financial context and focused request for loan information. The main limitation is occasional awkward collocation and a slightly abrupt imperative near the end; prioritise more natural formal phrasing and consistently courteous requests.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and all three required details are fully addressed, with relevant supporting information and an appropriately formal overall tone.
Rephrase the final request more politely and specify that the applicant seeks the application forms and eligibility requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the loan enquiry through business background, funding needs, repayment terms, and requested documents.
Divide the letter into focused paragraphs for the business, financing and repayment, and the final information request.
Lexical Resource
The response uses relevant business and banking vocabulary, but several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace 'completed my graduation', 'interested to start', and 'business outlining firm' with 'graduated', 'interested in starting', and 'business-planning consultancy'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally accurate, with occasional errors in articles, verb complementation, and request forms.
Use forms such as 'a three-month grace period' and 'I would also be grateful if you could send me the required application documents'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information:
- what kind of business you want to start
- how much money you need
- the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.