You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information: - what kind of business you want to start - how much money you need - the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been banking with your institutiondealing with your bank for a long time, and I think it is time to seek your support for my new businesstake our business relationship to the next level. I am writingAnyway, I am writing this letter to you because I need a term loan because I planterm loan as I am planning to start a small business within the next few months. Concerning the business I have in mindbusiness I have in my mind, it is going to be a commercial bakerybakery factory where I intendwhere I am intending to bake all kinds of bread and cakes and then supply them to the neighbouring cities to maximize my sales and revenue. DeleteBy the way, I have already done some cost estimatescalculations and based on themit, I would require about $7,500 to start the business. Of course, I also have some of my own fundsa little bit of my own money which would help me cover some of the other expenses for starting this business. I would likeAnyway, I want it to be a short-term loanshort term loan. PleaseSo, please structure the repayment schedulestructure my loan payment so thatin such a way so that I am able to pay it back over two yearswithin 2 years in equal monthly instalmentsas equated monthly installation. I hope to hear a positive reply from you soon. Yours faithfully, Joseph Abraham
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly states the proposed bakery, requested amount, and two-year repayment period, with useful supporting detail. Its main limitation is that it does not actually request much information from the bank and its formal register is weakened by repeated conversational markers such as Anyway and By the way; prioritise asking about eligibility, interest, or application requirements in a consistently professional tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are developed and the need for a loan is clear, but the response mainly requests funds rather than information about obtaining them.
Ask specific questions about eligibility, documents, interest rates, or application steps while retaining the business, amount, and repayment details.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence, but the single-block presentation and repeated use of Anyway create mechanical progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the purpose, business plan, requested sum, and repayment proposal, with less repetitive linking.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough range for business and finance topics, although several word choices are imprecise or too conversational.
Replace bakery factory, business in my mind, and equated monthly installation with bakery, business I plan to establish, and equal monthly instalments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied sentence structures with generally clear meaning, but articles, relative clauses, and fixed constructions are not consistently controlled.
Simplify overloaded sentences and use accurate structures such as repay the loan over two years in equal monthly instalments.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter include the following information:
- what kind of business you want to start
- how much money you need
- the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.