You have an extra room in your apartment and would like to rent it out to a student. Write a letter to the university council officer. In your letter: - describe your apartment and the facilities available - mention why you want to rent out the room - say what kind of tenant you would prefer
Sample Response
Dear Mr Hassan, I am writing with regard to your advertisement in the New York Times which stated that people should contact you to rent out rooms to students from your university. I would be grateful if you could arrange a tenant for my extra room. I own a flat in Manhattan, and it is on 10th avenue. My flat is located on the 4th floor, and it is quite spacious. It contains 2 moderately large bedrooms, a storage room, a kitchen, and 2 bathrooms. In addition, it is fully furnished with branded furniture and household appliances. I live alone in this apartment and use one bedroom while the second bedroom has no use for me. This is why I have decided to lease it out to someone. The rent is $450 per month including utility bills. The tenant must be a polite person and a non-smoker. Additionally, he should not have frequent guests and parties. I am sure the prospective student will feel comfortable in this accommodation. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours cordially, Fadi Al-Damiri
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct collocation Original: arrange a tenant Suggested revision: help me find a tenant Why it matters: A council officer can help find a tenant rather than arrange one.
- 2. Capitalize street name Original: avenue Suggested revision: Avenue Why it matters: The proper street name requires a capital letter.
- 3. Use natural description Original: branded furniture Suggested revision: high-quality furniture Why it matters: This is a more natural way to describe the furniture's quality.
- 4. Correct sentence structure Original: the second bedroom has no use for me Suggested revision: I have no use for the second bedroom Why it matters: The revised structure clearly expresses that the room is unused.
- 5. Specify student tenant Original: lease it out to someone Suggested revision: rent it out to a student Why it matters: This wording directly reflects the intended student tenancy in the task.
- 6. Improve parallel structure Original: must be a polite person and a non-smoker Suggested revision: must be polite and a non-smoker Why it matters: The revised complements form a cleaner parallel description.
- 7. Add missing verb Original: frequent guests and parties Suggested revision: frequent guests or hold parties Why it matters: A verb is needed to show that the tenant should not host parties.
- 8. Use standard sign-off Original: cordially Suggested revision: sincerely Why it matters: This is the conventional formal closing when the recipient is addressed by name.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I am writing with regard to your advertisement in the New York Times which stated that people should contact you to rent out rooms to students from your university. Suggested revision: I am writing in response to your New York Times advertisement inviting people to offer rooms to students at your university. Why it matters: The revision states the reason for writing more directly and removes wordiness.
- 10. Organize by purpose Suggested revision: Separate the letter into an opening, an apartment-and-facilities paragraph, a reason-for-renting paragraph, a tenant-preference paragraph, and a closing. Why it matters: Presenting the entire letter as one block obscures the progression through the three required points.
Suggested Rewrites
- arrange a tenant help me find a tenant
- avenue Avenue
- branded furniture high-quality furniture
- the second bedroom has no use for me I have no use for the second bedroom
- lease it out to someone rent it out to a student
- must be a polite person and a non-smoker must be polite and a non-smoker
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates its purpose immediately and gives useful, specific details about the apartment, the reason for renting, and the preferred tenant. The main weakness is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by a few unnatural expressions. Divide the letter into clear functional paragraphs and refine awkward collocations so that the strong content is easier to follow and sounds more natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully addresses the accommodation, motivation, and tenant preferences with a clear purpose, suitable formal tone, and relevant detail.
Clarify whether the requested tenant may be of any gender rather than shifting directly to the restrictive pronoun "he".
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a logical sequence, but presenting the entire letter as one block weakens paragraphing and makes the stages less easy to scan.
Use separate paragraphs for the request, apartment facilities, reason for renting, and preferred tenant.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally precise, although phrases such as "branded furniture" and "has no use for me" sound unnatural.
Replace awkward collocations with idiomatic alternatives such as "good-quality furniture" and "is currently unused".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a varied range of complex and simple sentence forms with a high degree of grammatical accuracy.
Polish minor details such as capitalising "Tenth Avenue" and maintaining natural reference to a prospective tenant.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have an extra room in your apartment and would like to rent it out to a student. Write a letter to the university council officer. In your letter:
- describe your apartment and the facilities available
- mention why you want to rent out the room
- say what kind of tenant you would prefer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.