You are organising a trip to Tenby in the United Kingdom for a group of students from Brighton. Write to Mr Abraham, the Tour Manager of an organisation that arranges trips to Tenby. In your letter: - say when you want to visit - say how long you will stay - say how many students are in your group - describe the accommodation you will require
Sample Response
Dear Mr Abraham, I am Gordon Matthew and I had a phone conversation with you yesterday morning regarding the tour we are going to embark on at Tenby. Now I am writing to seek some information about tour facilities you offer. We expect to reach Tenby On 14th October 2019 and will stay there for three days and two nights. We have 26 people in our group – 16 men and 8 women. In addition, two children will accompany the team and they are our dean’s daughters who are between 8-10 years old. Among the adults, 14 male and 6 female students will share rooms while two professors will have family suits as their wives and children’s are accompanying them. Hence, we will require 10 double-bedrooms with a great view and 2 family suits in the vicinity in total. We hope to keep our expenses moderate and have a peaceful experience while we stay there. Please send me details about the rooms you have available during the time, type of facilities and food you serve with estimated costs for all those. Also inform me about the recreational facilities, worth-visiting places and things-to-do in this area. Should we bring any special equipment or dress for our tour? Finally, please do inform me how can I book the reservation once I am convinced about your arrangement. I look forward to receiving the information as soon as possible from you. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation. Yours sincerely, Gordon Matthew
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: regarding the tour we are going to embark on at Tenby Suggested revision: regarding our planned trip to Tenby Why it matters: This wording states the subject of the call more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Add the article Original: about tour facilities you offer Suggested revision: about the tour facilities you offer Why it matters: The specific facilities offered by the organisation require the definite article.
- 3. Lowercase the preposition Original: On Suggested revision: on Why it matters: A preposition within a sentence should not be capitalised.
- 4. Complete the range form Original: between 8-10 years old Suggested revision: between 8 and 10 years old Why it matters: The standard construction is 'between X and Y', not 'between X–Y'.
- 5. Correct suite spelling Original: suits Suggested revision: suites Why it matters: 'Suites' means sets of connected rooms, whereas 'suits' means clothes.
- 6. Remove the possessive Original: children’s Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The plural noun is the subject of 'are' and must not take a possessive apostrophe.
- 7. Use room terminology Original: 10 double-bedrooms Suggested revision: 10 double rooms Why it matters: 'Double rooms' is the standard term for this type of accommodation.
- 8. Correct suite spelling Original: suits Suggested revision: suites Why it matters: 'Suites' is the correct word for family accommodation.
- 9. Remove misplaced phrase Original: in the vicinity in total Suggested revision: in total Why it matters: 'In the vicinity' refers to a nearby location and does not fit this room total.
- 10. Specify the period Original: during the time Suggested revision: during our stay Why it matters: This phrase identifies the relevant booking period more precisely.
- 11. Use plural agreement Original: type of facilities Suggested revision: the types of facilities Why it matters: The request concerns multiple facilities, so the plural form and article are needed.
- 12. Add the article Original: food you serve Suggested revision: the food you serve Why it matters: The definite article is needed for the specific food offered by the organisation.
Suggested Rewrites
- regarding the tour we are going to embark on at Tenby regarding our planned trip to Tenby
- about tour facilities you offer about the tour facilities you offer
- On on
- between 8-10 years old between 8 and 10 years old
- suits suites
- children’s children
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its comprehensive, specific coverage of the travel dates, group composition, accommodation needs, and requested information in an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitation is uneven language accuracy, including several awkward or incorrect forms that occasionally blur details about the party and rooms; the highest priority is to proofread possessives, word forms, and indirect-question structure while keeping the detailed content.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly fulfils its purpose, covers every required point with specific detail, and maintains a suitably formal tone.
Check that the breakdown of adults, children, and room occupants is completely unambiguous and internally consistent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the trip details and accommodation requirements to a well-organised series of additional enquiries.
Separate the travel details, accommodation request, and follow-up questions into distinct paragraphs for easier reading.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible vocabulary conveys detailed accommodation and tour requirements, despite some inaccurate word choices and forms.
Replace awkward forms such as “family suits” and “worth-visiting places” with precise, natural expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is used with generally clear control, although several local errors remain noticeable.
Correct possessive and agreement errors and use statement word order in indirect questions such as “how I can book”.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are organising a trip to Tenby in the United Kingdom for a group of students from Brighton. Write to Mr Abraham, the Tour Manager of an organisation that arranges trips to Tenby. In your letter:
- say when you want to visit
- say how long you will stay
- say how many students are in your group
- describe the accommodation you will require
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.