You are organising a trip to Tenby in the United Kingdom for a group of students from Brighton. Write to Mr Abraham, the Tour Manager of an organisation that arranges trips to Tenby. In your letter: - say when you want to visit - say how long you will stay - say how many students are in your group - describe the accommodation you will require

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 7–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mr Abraham, I am Henry Brown, a teacher from the Brighton Scholar's School, United Kingdom, and writing to inquire about the accommodation facilities you offer as we are planning a trip to Tenby soon. Following our previous email correspondenceAccording to our previous email correspondence, I would like to inform you that we are a group of 18 peopleteam of 18 members, including three teachers, and willwould be staying in Tenby between 12th and 18th June 2019. Could you please inform meI would request you to inform me about the room availabilityavailability of your rooms and the types of services you offertype of service you offer. TheThose rooms should be on the same floor and have heatingon the same floor and with heating facilities. We have a moderate budgetOur budget is moderate and I would like to knowand would like to know the facilities you offer, such as breakfast, a tour guide, and transportlike breakfast, tour guide and vehicles included in the pricewithin the price. Since this is an educational expedition, we will be out most of the daywill mostly stay out and this is why the security of our belongings is important to ussecurity of our belongings is a concern for us. I hope your lodge can ensure that. Please let me know about the reservation and payment process so that we can book our rooms wellell in advance. Any other tips for us? Please feel free to mention. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Yours sincerelySincerely yours, Henry Brown

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter communicates the trip dates, group size, and accommodation needs clearly, with relevant detail about budget, facilities, and security. Its main limitation is linguistic and structural: the whole message is presented as one paragraph, and several sentences contain missing subjects or awkward service-related wording. Prioritise clear paragraphing and complete, direct request sentences to strengthen the professional tone.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The purpose is clear, all four bullet points are fully covered, and the accommodation requirements are developed in useful detail.

Next step

State the exact number of nights explicitly and trim peripheral requests so the booking information remains the central focus.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The information follows a sensible sequence from trip details to room needs and booking arrangements, but one-paragraph presentation limits clarity.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the purpose and dates, accommodation requirements, additional services, and closing request.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter uses a good range of relevant travel and accommodation vocabulary, although a few collocations and one spelling error reduce polish.

Next step

Use precise phrases such as 'a group of 18', 'transport services included in the price', and 'well in advance'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

Varied sentence forms are generally controlled, but missing subjects and awkward coordination occur in several places.

Next step

Add the required subject in clauses such as 'I am writing' and 'we would like to know', then simplify overloaded sentences.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You are organising a trip to Tenby in the United Kingdom for a group of students from Brighton. Write to Mr Abraham, the Tour Manager of an organisation that arranges trips to Tenby. In your letter:

- say when you want to visit

- say how long you will stay

- say how many students are in your group

- describe the accommodation you will require

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.