Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter: - suggest how you could help her in her home - say why you would like to do this work - explain when you will and will not be available
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Barrett,
My name is Elaine Sully, and I am writing this letter to make an enquiry if you still need somebody to help you at your home. Actually, very recently I have come across your advertisement in a local newspaper, and I just thought that it would be a great opportunity for me to earn some extra cash to take a piano lesson during the next summer while also helping you at your home.
With regards to what sort of assistance I could offer you, I could do anything from washing dishes to doing and folding laundry. I can even do grocery shopping once in a while, in addition to preparing some occasional afternoon snacks. And I have learnt to do all these things right at my home because I have to fill in for the duties of my mother, who has to leave the house every once in a while for professional reasons.
By the way, I am available anytime during the weekends from 7:00 am to 11:00 pm and from 4:00 pm to 9:00 pm during the weekdays except on Tuesdays. So, if this fits your need, please let me know.
Yours faithfully,
Elaine Sully
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use whether Original: make an enquiry if Suggested revision: enquire whether Why it matters: “Enquire whether” is the correct structure for this indirect question.
- 2. Use in Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “In your home” is the natural preposition for domestic assistance.
- 3. Remove redundant opener Original: Actually, very recently Suggested revision: Recently Why it matters: The two opening adverbs are redundant and make the sentence less direct.
- 4. Use simple past Original: have come across Suggested revision: came across Why it matters: A completed discovery in the recent past is naturally expressed with the simple past here.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: I just thought Suggested revision: I thought Why it matters: Removing “just” makes this semi-formal request more direct.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: cash Suggested revision: money Why it matters: “Money” is more appropriate than the casual “cash” in this semi-formal letter.
- 7. Clarify financial purpose Original: to take a piano lesson Suggested revision: to pay for piano lessons Why it matters: The work would fund the lessons rather than enable the writer to take only one lesson.
- 8. Remove during Original: during the next summer Suggested revision: next summer Why it matters: No preposition or article is needed before “next summer.”
- 9. Use correct phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard fixed expression is “with regard to.”
- 10. Use parallel chores Original: doing Suggested revision: washing Why it matters: This wording names two clear, parallel laundry tasks.
- 11. Use natural phrase Original: do grocery shopping Suggested revision: buy groceries Why it matters: “Buy groceries” is a concise, natural expression for this household task.
- 12. Remove redundant determiner Original: some occasional afternoon snacks Suggested revision: occasional afternoon snacks Why it matters: “Some” is unnecessary before “occasional” in this noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- make an enquiry if enquire whether
- at in
- Actually, very recently Recently
- have come across came across
- I just thought I thought
- cash money
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a clear purpose, covers the household tasks, motivation, and availability, and uses an appropriately courteous tone. Its main limitation is occasional awkward phrasing and slightly casual or indirect wording, which reduces precision despite the strong coverage. The highest priority is to state availability more directly—including unavailable periods—and replace unnatural expressions with concise, conventional letter language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter achieves its purpose, develops all three bullet points, and maintains a generally suitable semi-formal tone.
State unavailable periods explicitly and make the request for work more direct and concise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are logically divided by purpose and progress clearly, although some linking phrases are conversational or unnecessary.
Use more direct transitions between assistance, motivation, and availability instead of fillers such as “Actually” and “By the way.”
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for household duties and scheduling, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as “make an enquiry if,” “fill in for the duties,” and “fits your need” with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors rarely affect clarity.
Refine prepositions, articles, and time expressions so the complex sentences remain consistently accurate.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter:
- suggest how you could help her in her home
- say why you would like to do this work
- explain when you will and will not be available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.