You recently visited a tourist attraction and you were very pleased with the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the head of staff at the tourist attraction. In your letter: - give details of the circumstances of your visit - describe the help given to you by the staff - say what you want the head staff to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently visited the famous Vinevasi Waterfall after learning it from a friend and took your service for the tour. The service I was offered was excellent and I would like to thank you for that. I was not exactly planning to visit the waterfall, but, then I had to travel to Kuala Lumpur suddenly for a business trip, and that is when I remembered what my friend had told me about your tourist place. So, after finishing my work, I decided to visit your beautiful tourist attraction for a couple of days. But, after arriving there, I asked myself why I had not planned for a longer stay because all of your staff members were very courteous and friendly. They did not just make sure that I was comfortable on the tourist bus and at the hotel, but also made sure my belongings were kept in the right place. They took me to the best local restaurant and informed me a great deal about the history of the place. I would like to thank you. Also, please convey my good wishes to your staff. I would like to mention that, after talking to some staff members, I felt like they were not getting enough time off from their works. So, I would be glad if you try to address that issue to make sure that they feel appreciated even more for what they do. Yours faithfully, Rogerio Frugardo
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past simple Original: have recently visited Suggested revision: recently visited Why it matters: The completed visit is described as a finished past event, so the past simple is appropriate.
- 2. Use natural expression Original: after learning it from a friend Suggested revision: after hearing about it from a friend Why it matters: English speakers hear about a place rather than “learn it” from someone.
- 3. Correct service collocation Original: took your service for the tour Suggested revision: used your tour service Why it matters: “Use a service” is the natural collocation in this context.
- 4. Remove extra comma Original: but, then Suggested revision: but then Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinating conjunction from the following adverb here.
- 5. Name the attraction Original: your tourist place Suggested revision: the attraction Why it matters: This is a more natural and precise reference to the tourist site.
- 6. Correct verb pattern Original: informed Suggested revision: told Why it matters: “Tell someone about something” fits this object pattern, whereas “inform” normally requires “of” or “about” before the topic.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: “Work” is uncountable when referring generally to employment duties.
- 8. Make request polite Original: if you try to address Suggested revision: if you could address Why it matters: “Could” forms a suitably polite request to the head of staff.
- 9. Avoid unsupported modifier Original: famous Vinevasi Waterfall Suggested revision: Vinevasi Waterfall Why it matters: The name identifies the attraction clearly without the unnecessary promotional adjective.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: The service I was offered Suggested revision: The service I received Why it matters: “Receive a service” is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 11. Improve adverb placement Original: travel to Kuala Lumpur suddenly Suggested revision: travel unexpectedly to Kuala Lumpur Why it matters: “Unexpectedly” expresses the unplanned trip more naturally in this position.
- 12. Remove unnecessary linker Original: So, after finishing my work, Suggested revision: After finishing my work, Why it matters: The time phrase already connects this action clearly to the previous sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- have recently visited recently visited
- after learning it from a friend after hearing about it from a friend
- took your service for the tour used your tour service
- but, then but then
- your tourist place the attraction
- informed told
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter gives a detailed account of the visit, specific examples of the staff’s help, and clear requests to the manager in an appropriately formal tone. The main limitation is occasional awkward wording and loose sentence control; the highest-priority improvement is to replace unnatural collocations and trim punctuation-heavy sentences so the praise and requests sound more polished and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are fully developed with relevant circumstances, concrete examples of assistance, and clear actions requested from the head of staff.
Refine the final request so that the praise and concern about staff leave are expressed even more concisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a clear chronological and functional sequence, though the single paragraph and repeated use of basic linkers reduce structural clarity.
Divide the letter into clear paragraphs for the visit, the staff’s assistance, and the requested actions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, but collocations such as ‘took your service’, ‘tourist place’, and ‘time off from their works’ are unnatural.
Use idiomatic alternatives such as ‘used your tour service’, ‘attraction’, and ‘time off work’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentences is used successfully, with some distracting comma placement and occasional errors in clause construction.
Remove unnecessary commas and use more accurate conditional phrasing, such as ‘I would be grateful if you could address this issue’.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently visited a tourist attraction and you were very pleased with the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the head of staff at the tourist attraction. In your letter:
- give details of the circumstances of your visit
- describe the help given to you by the staff
- say what you want the head staff to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.