You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - explain why you will be visiting the town - give details of where you will be staying - ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment
Sample Response
Dear Rony,
Hope you're doing great. I'm planning to take my wife and daughter to Marshville to spend our summer holiday. We'll be visiting this town at the beginning of the next month primarily to enjoy the beautiful hills, and the sea beach while also meeting a distant relative. Since you went to the university in this very town, I'm sure you'd be able to help me with some information.
We are planning to stay the first three days at Hotel Tulip, near the sea beach, and then spend the next two days at the Martharry area near the town centre. The day before we take our return flight, we'll be visiting the relative at his home near the Hunsberry area. Our main focus during this tour would be to enjoy our holidays as much as possible.
I've done some online research about the places to visit and things to do once we're there. However, I'd request you to recommend some evening activities and entertainment that we may enjoy as a family. I'd also welcome any other tips and recommendations that you might have.
Take care. See you soon.
Yours truly,
Albert
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: at the beginning of the next month Suggested revision: at the beginning of next month Why it matters: Next month normally takes no article when referring to the coming calendar month.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: and the sea beach while Suggested revision: and the beach while Why it matters: Beach already conveys the seaside location, making sea unnecessary here.
- 3. Use institutional form Original: went to the university Suggested revision: went to university Why it matters: British English normally omits the article when university refers to studying there.
- 4. Make the request specific Original: help me with some information Suggested revision: give me some local advice Why it matters: Local advice more clearly describes the help expected from a former resident.
- 5. Add duration preposition Original: stay the first three days Suggested revision: stay for the first three days Why it matters: For is needed to introduce the duration of the hotel stay.
- 6. Use area preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the standard preposition for a district or area.
- 7. Clarify the relationship Original: the Suggested revision: our Why it matters: The possessive determiner refers back more naturally to the family member already mentioned.
- 8. Use friendly request Original: I'd request you to recommend Suggested revision: Could you recommend Why it matters: A direct question is more natural for asking a friend for evening suggestions.
- 9. Use an informal closing Original: Yours truly Suggested revision: Best wishes Why it matters: Best wishes better matches a personal letter to a friend.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Hope you're doing great. Suggested revision: I hope you're doing well. Why it matters: Adding the subject creates a complete sentence while preserving the friendly opening.
Suggested Rewrites
- at the beginning of the next month at the beginning of next month
- and the sea beach while and the beach while
- went to the university went to university
- help me with some information give me some local advice
- stay the first three days stay for the first three days
- at in
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter covers every bullet point with clear travel reasons, detailed accommodation plans, and a direct request for family-friendly evening entertainment; its friendly tone is appropriate throughout. The main weakness is occasional awkward or over-formal wording, such as 'the sea beach', 'at the Martharry area', and 'I'd request you'. Prioritise natural prepositions and informal request language while trimming the unnecessary sentence about maximising the holiday.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three requested points are clearly addressed with specific detail, and the informal tone suits a letter to a friend.
Clarify the type of accommodation in the Martharry area rather than naming only the area where the family will spend two days.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the visit's purpose to accommodation and recommendations, with effective paragraphing and clear referencing.
Remove the general sentence about enjoying the holiday because it interrupts the transition from accommodation details to the request for advice.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied enough for travel plans and requests, but several collocations and phrases are unnatural or more formal than the context requires.
Use natural phrases such as 'the beach', 'in the Martharry area', and 'could you recommend some evening activities?'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences and contractions are generally well controlled, with only occasional article, preposition, and punctuation problems.
Proofread fixed prepositional phrases and remove the unnecessary comma in 'the beautiful hills, and the sea beach'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- explain why you will be visiting the town
- give details of where you will be staying
- ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.