You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter: - give details of your course and your arrival/departure date - explain your accommodation needs - ask for information about getting to and from the college
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter to request you to provide me additional information about your College hostel as I am looking forward to staying in your hostel accommodation owing to my tourism course.
To furnish you with more details, I have taken a diploma in tourism and development in the prestigious college of Edinburg for this fall. Hence I planned my itinerary for arriving next week that is 27/8/2020 and in due course of 4 months will be completing my academic course.
In addition to the above, it would be grateful if you could allocate me a room with good ventilation probably a single room would be the best preference.moreover as we have plenty of online submissions a high-speed internet network would be beneficial for me along with that may I know if the facilities in hostel provision include the laundry.
As you are aware I’m enrolled in a tourism stream which includes frequent visits to the city it would help me if you could dispense some orientation to go out of the college as I’m naive to the town probably a map would be a better option.
Awaiting a positive response from your side,
yours sincerely, Ms.Sandra
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb pattern Original: request you to provide me additional information Suggested revision: ask you to provide me with additional information Why it matters: The verb pattern requires either 'ask someone to' or 'provide someone with'.
- 2. Use lowercase college Original: College Suggested revision: college Why it matters: 'College' is a common noun here and should not be capitalised.
- 3. Clarify the reason Original: owing to my tourism course Suggested revision: while I am taking my tourism course Why it matters: The original phrase does not clearly explain that the course is the reason for the stay.
- 4. Use enrolment verb Original: have taken a diploma Suggested revision: have enrolled in a diploma course Why it matters: You enrol in a course; you do not take a diploma before completing it.
- 5. Correct place name Original: Edinburg Suggested revision: Edinburgh Why it matters: The city name is misspelled.
- 6. Remove extra preposition Original: for this fall Suggested revision: this fall Why it matters: The time expression 'this fall' does not take 'for' in this sentence.
- 7. Name the grateful person Original: it Suggested revision: I Why it matters: A person, rather than the situation, is grateful.
- 8. Separate the requests Original: good ventilation probably Suggested revision: good ventilation; ideally, Why it matters: Punctuation is needed to separate the ventilation request from the room preference.
- 9. Correct preference phrase Original: the best preference Suggested revision: my preference Why it matters: 'My preference' is the natural noun phrase for the writer's choice.
- 10. Keep viewpoint consistent Original: as we have plenty of online submissions Suggested revision: as I have many online assignments Why it matters: The singular writer should use 'I', and assignments are completed rather than submissions being possessed.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: network Suggested revision: connection Why it matters: 'Internet connection' is the natural collocation for this accommodation requirement.
- 12. Link the request clearly Original: along with that may I know if Suggested revision: I would also like to know whether Why it matters: This phrasing introduces the additional question clearly and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- request you to provide me additional information ask you to provide me with additional information
- College college
- owing to my tourism course while I am taking my tourism course
- have taken a diploma have enrolled in a diploma course
- Edinburg Edinburgh
- for this fall this fall
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter’s clearest strength is its generally appropriate formal tone and useful detail about the course and preferred room facilities. Its main limitation is that the departure timing and travel request are imprecise, while frequent awkward phrasing and run-on sentences reduce clarity. Prioritise stating an exact departure date, asking directly about transport to and from the college, and separating ideas into accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three areas are mentioned, but the departure timing and transport information request are insufficiently precise.
State the exact departure date and ask directly about available ways to travel to and from the college.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence follows the task logically, although several ideas are joined in long, loosely controlled sentences.
Use shorter sentences and clearer punctuation so each request and supporting detail is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic with some range, but frequent collocational choices such as ‘best preference’ and ‘dispense some orientation’ sound unnatural.
Choose simpler, standard combinations such as ‘prefer a single room’ and ‘provide directions or transport information’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, but recurring article, clause, capitalization, and punctuation errors weaken control.
Divide run-on sentences and check articles, sentence openings, and clause boundaries throughout the letter.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter:
- give details of your course and your arrival/departure date
- explain your accommodation needs
- ask for information about getting to and from the college
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.