You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: - explain which course you are interested in - say what you know about the university - explain why you should receive the scholarship
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inquire about a scholarship program that your university offers to foreign students. I have already finished my bachelor’s degree in Economics, and now I want to pursue a master’s degree in the same subject. I have already learned quite a lot about your university by reading everything on its website. Needless to say, I like everything about your university which includes very modern and well-equipped classrooms, a universal curriculum, affordable hostel accommodation, and highly qualified and experienced professors and lecturers. However, what I find the most impressive about your university is its very high campus placement rate which is about 75 per cent. I know it is not easy to get a scholarship at your university, but I think that my good grades in bachelor degree (GPA 3.90 out of 4) and a high score in TOEFL (623 out of 677) would make me eligible to receive a scholarship in my subject. I look forward to hearing your response on my eligibility to receive a scholarship at your university. Yours faithfully, Kishor Gupta
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The word 'letter' is unnecessary because the format is already clear.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: want to pursue Suggested revision: would like to pursue Why it matters: This phrasing better suits a formal scholarship enquiry.
- 3. Avoid overstatement Original: reading everything on its website Suggested revision: reading the information on its website Why it matters: 'The information' is more precise and credible than the absolute word 'everything'.
- 4. Remove empty transition Original: Needless to say, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This expression adds no useful link to the description that follows.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: universal Suggested revision: comprehensive Why it matters: 'Comprehensive curriculum' naturally describes a broad programme of study.
- 6. Add determiner Original: grades in bachelor degree Suggested revision: grades in my bachelor’s degree Why it matters: The possessive determiner is required before the degree qualification.
- 7. Use correct noun phrase Original: a high score in TOEFL Suggested revision: a high TOEFL score Why it matters: The test name should directly modify 'score' in this phrase.
- 8. Correct response phrase Original: hearing your response on my eligibility Suggested revision: hearing from you about my eligibility Why it matters: 'Hear from you about' is the natural construction for awaiting a reply.
- 9. Request course details Suggested revision: Add a specific question about the Economics master’s course, such as its entry requirements, modules, dates, or fees. Why it matters: The letter identifies the course but does not actually request information about it as the task requires.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- want to pursue would like to pursue
- reading everything on its website reading the information on its website
- Needless to say, Delete
- universal comprehensive
- grades in bachelor degree grades in my bachelor’s degree
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter gives a clear, appropriately formal scholarship inquiry, identifies the intended degree, and supports the application with specific academic evidence and relevant knowledge of the university. Its main limitation is that some claims and collocations are broad or slightly unnatural, and the single-block presentation weakens the structure. Prioritise precise, idiomatic phrasing and distinct paragraphs for the course, university, and candidacy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response clearly states its purpose, covers every bullet point with relevant detail, and sustains an appropriate formal register.
Strengthen the inquiry by asking one specific question about the master's course or scholarship process rather than only requesting an eligibility response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a logical sequence from purpose and course choice to university knowledge and scholarship suitability.
Use separate paragraphs for the course, university features, and supporting qualifications so each part of the request is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective language for academic qualifications and university facilities, despite several awkward collocations.
Use more natural expressions such as bachelor's degree results and graduate employment rate, and avoid vague claims like a universal curriculum.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a broad range of well-controlled sentence structures, with only occasional article, possessive, and reference errors.
Refine phrases such as my bachelor's degree and ensure relative clauses have an unambiguous singular or plural referent.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter:
- explain which course you are interested in
- say what you know about the university
- explain why you should receive the scholarship
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.