You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: - explain which course you are interested in - say what you know about the university - explain why you should receive the scholarship
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently completed my graduation from the Singapore University of Technology and Design and my major was Engineering Systems and Design. I am writing to get the details about the scholarship program that your university offers as I am really interested to complete my Master's degree from your university. I would like to pursue my Master's degree at Loughborough University and I am looking forward to getting a scholarship in the faculty of Engineering System and Design. As I want to build a career in the Engineering sector, I would like to complete my Master's degree in the same faculty that I did for my graduation. I am convinced that doing the post-graduation at Loughborough University would be an excellent decision for me as the university offers the opportunity to study a subject at an advanced level, develop personal and professional skills, and it is one of the best universities in the UK. The 440-acre single-site campus offers great facilities for students, staff and gives every student the opportunity they need to achieve their full potential. I would be very proud to be a part of this glorious university. I want to continue my Master's course in Engineering Systems and would be able to do so only if I am granted a scholarship as I come from a middle-class family. My Engineering Systems and Design graduation course had 138 credits in total and I achieve a CGPA of 3.89 out of 4.0. I have part-time job experience in the Engineering design field and I believe I can prove my competency for the scholarship provided that I get an opportunity. I look forward to your reply and would really appreciate your guidance regarding this. Yours faithfully, Lee Gordon
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: completed my graduation Suggested revision: graduated Why it matters: The verb ‘graduated’ expresses completion of a degree more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Fix verb pattern Original: interested to complete Suggested revision: interested in completing Why it matters: The adjective ‘interested’ is followed by ‘in’ and a gerund.
- 3. Correct preposition Original: from your university Suggested revision: at your university Why it matters: A student completes a degree at a university rather than from it.
- 4. Use precise request Original: looking forward to getting a scholarship Suggested revision: hoping to receive a scholarship Why it matters: This wording states the intended application more directly in a formal enquiry.
- 5. Keep course name consistent Original: Engineering System and Design Suggested revision: Engineering Systems and Design Why it matters: The course name should match the plural form used elsewhere in the letter.
- 6. Use standard capitalization Original: the Engineering sector Suggested revision: the engineering sector Why it matters: A general field of work does not require a capital letter.
- 7. Repair comparison Original: in the same faculty that I did for my graduation Suggested revision: in the same field as my undergraduate degree Why it matters: The revised comparison is grammatically complete and uses ‘field’ accurately for a subject area.
- 8. Use academic collocation Original: doing the post-graduation Suggested revision: pursuing postgraduate study Why it matters: ‘Pursuing postgraduate study’ is the natural expression for undertaking a master’s degree.
- 9. Fix coordination Original: students, staff and gives Suggested revision: students and staff, and gives Why it matters: The revision separates the two coordinated benefits and joins ‘students and staff’ correctly.
- 10. Choose precise verb Original: continue my Master's course Suggested revision: pursue my Master's course Why it matters: ‘Pursue’ is a more accurate verb for beginning the proposed course.
- 11. Clarify qualification Original: Engineering Systems and Design graduation course Suggested revision: undergraduate Engineering Systems and Design course Why it matters: ‘Undergraduate’ identifies the level of the completed course more precisely.
- 12. Use past tense Original: I achieve a CGPA Suggested revision: I achieved a CGPA Why it matters: The completed degree result requires the past tense ‘achieved’.
Suggested Rewrites
- completed my graduation graduated
- interested to complete interested in completing
- from your university at your university
- looking forward to getting a scholarship hoping to receive a scholarship
- Engineering System and Design Engineering Systems and Design
- the Engineering sector the engineering sector
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter gives a clear formal request and supports the scholarship case with relevant academic, financial, and professional details. Its main limitation is presentation: repetition and the absence of purposeful paragraphing make the response feel less controlled than its content warrants. The highest priority is to organise the three requested areas into distinct paragraphs and replace repeated or awkward wording with more precise expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, and the formal tone is generally appropriate.
Ask one or two specific questions about the course or scholarship process so that the inquiry function is developed as fully as the supporting case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a broadly logical sequence, but the single dense paragraph and repeated references to the master's degree weaken the organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the desired course, knowledge of the university, and scholarship justification, with less repetition between them.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a sufficient range of formal and subject-specific vocabulary, although several collocations such as 'complete my Master's degree' and 'doing the post-graduation' are awkward.
Improve collocational precision by using natural phrases such as 'pursue a master's degree' and 'undertake postgraduate study'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used successfully, and most sentences are accurate despite occasional agreement, tense, and parallel-structure errors.
Proofread verb forms and sentence coordination, especially errors such as 'I achieve a CGPA' and the faulty parallel structure in the campus-facilities sentence.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter:
- explain which course you are interested in
- say what you know about the university
- explain why you should receive the scholarship
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.