You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter: - explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute - mention what problems you have encountered with parking - what you recommend to solve the problems
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to draw your attention to a problem which is related to the bicycle parking in your building where I park my bicycle. I am hoping that you would solve it as soon as possible.
I have recently started using a bicycle to commute to work because it saves time by helping me avoid the morning traffic rush. Besides, I like to rely on this “two-wheel” vehicle, instead of using public transportation or private cars, because it helps me remain in good physical shape.
But, it looks like I will have to give up on riding this bicycle because I am seldom getting any empty parking space for my bicycle in the parking lot of our office building. After all, on one hand, the parking lot is not that large, and on the other hand, too many car owners, working in this area, come with their private cars and occupy all the parking spaces. They are even occupying the little space which is designated for motorcycle and bicycle parking.
Now, I can not really ask you to expand the parking lot, but I can ask you to request the car owners to at least leave the empty parking spaces which are designated for bicycle parking. Your intervention can solve this problem immediately.
Yours faithfully,
Jay Leno
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise purpose phrase Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The word letter is redundant because the format is already clear.
- 2. State the issue directly Original: problem which is related to Suggested revision: problem with Why it matters: Problem with is the concise natural construction.
- 3. Remove parking repetition Original: bicycle parking in your building where I park my bicycle Suggested revision: bicycle parking at the building Why it matters: The replacement removes repeated bicycle and park wording while keeping the location clear.
- 4. Use direct polite request Original: I am hoping that you would solve it Suggested revision: I hope you can resolve it Why it matters: The revised tense and modal form suit a current request.
- 5. Use standard traffic term Original: morning traffic rush Suggested revision: morning rush-hour traffic Why it matters: Rush-hour traffic is the natural collocation.
- 6. Use formal addition linker Original: Besides, Suggested revision: In addition, Why it matters: In addition is more appropriate in a formal letter.
- 7. Use adjective form Original: “two-wheel” vehicle Suggested revision: two-wheeled vehicle Why it matters: The compound adjective describing a vehicle is two-wheeled.
- 8. Make alternatives parallel Original: public transportation or private cars Suggested revision: public transport or a private car Why it matters: The revised alternatives use consistent general forms.
- 9. Use formal contrast linker Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: However is the appropriate sentence adverb and avoids the incorrect comma after but.
- 10. Use concise commute phrase Original: give up on riding this bicycle Suggested revision: stop cycling to work Why it matters: The replacement states the threatened change directly and avoids repeating bicycle.
- 11. Use concise location phrase Original: parking lot of our office building Suggested revision: office car park Why it matters: The replacement is shorter and natural in a formal British-English letter.
- 12. Use causal linker Original: After all, Suggested revision: This is because Why it matters: The sentence explains the shortage, so a causal link is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- problem which is related to problem with
- bicycle parking in your building where I park my bicycle bicycle parking at the building
- I am hoping that you would solve it I hope you can resolve it
- morning traffic rush morning rush-hour traffic
- Besides, In addition,
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its thorough and practical coverage of the commute, the shortage caused by cars occupying bicycle spaces, and a feasible request to protect those spaces. Its main limitation is occasional awkwardness and repetition in otherwise clear formal language, especially around parking and vehicle references. Prioritise stating the requested enforcement action more directly and editing tense, article, and collocation choices for a more professional finish.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, every bullet point is fully developed, and the proposed intervention directly addresses misuse of the designated bicycle area.
Specify how management should enforce the restriction, for example through signs, notices, or monitoring.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is clearly paragraphed by purpose and progresses logically from reasons to the parking problem and recommendation, despite some mechanical linking.
Replace the ‘on one hand/on the other hand’ sequence with a direct explanation of the limited capacity and misuse of marked spaces.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad formal range conveys the problem and solution clearly, though repetition and phrases such as ‘two-wheel vehicle’ and ‘come with their private cars’ sound unnatural.
Use concise terms such as ‘bicycle’, ‘drive to work’, and ‘designated cycle spaces’ consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally accurate, with occasional problems in tense choice, aspect, articles, and punctuation.
Prefer simple present for recurring conditions, such as ‘I seldom find a space’ and ‘cars occupy the bicycle area’.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter:
- explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute
- mention what problems you have encountered with parking
- what you recommend to solve the problems
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.