People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Advertising is pervasiveAdvertisement is dominant in people’s daily lives nowadays, because people frequently have to seewith the high frequency of people having to see the same products or services repeatedlyover and over again. Some people think that this phenomenon is negative because it distorts people’s perspectivesperspective on life. I completely agree with this statement.
Admittedly, advertisements have certain benefits for modern lifebenefits to modern lives. First of all, the purpose of an advertisementa piece of advertising is to deliver essential information about a product to the public. This would assist a person in choosing a product, saving both time spent searching for the right producttime researching for the right product and potentially money by preventing overspendingpotentially, money from overspending. Secondly, the advertising industry is getting more creative than ever, incorporating many current social issues in ads. Some people even consider advertisingadvertisement nowadays as a form of entertainment, especially with commercials in the form of short moviesin forms of short movies or music videos.
However, I believe that the ubiquity of advertisingadvertisement is distorting people’s perception of what is important in life. Seeing too many advertisements is thought by many experts to be the cause of excessive consumerism. People are encouraged by these ads to buy and own more items than they needmore stuff than needed. One consequence of this indulgence in buying new things is that people are buying more. They are also discarding more goods than everthrowing out more stuff than ever, placingcausing a burden on the environment. Another consequence of this phenomenon is that it makes younger generationsmakes younger generations become more superficial and care only about owningonly care about owning whatever is considered popularwhatever’s considered popular.
In conclusion, although advertisement can introduce many benefits to its audience, I still think that the oversaturation of advertising can bring negative impacts on individuals and society as a whole.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear position, progresses logically, and uses a suitably broad vocabulary to explain how pervasive advertising can encourage consumerism and superficial values. The main limitation is that some supporting points, especially the effects on younger people and the benefits of advertising, are asserted more than fully developed, while recurring noun-form and collocation slips reduce polish. The priority is to deepen the central negative argument with more precise causal explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a clear, consistent position and relevant ideas, though parts of the argument could be explored in greater depth.
Explain more fully how repeated exposure changes priorities and affects lives, using one developed illustration rather than several brief assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically organized into well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader clearly despite some repetition.
Reduce repeated wording and make the progression within the main negative paragraph more economical and cumulative.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and appropriate for the topic, with occasional awkward collocations and inconsistent use of advertisement and advertising.
Use the uncountable form advertising for the industry or activity and reserve an advertisement for an individual item.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentences is used with generally strong control, although article, number, and phrasing errors occur occasionally.
Proofread noun phrases for countability and article agreement, particularly forms such as advertisements, modern life, and forms of entertainment.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.