Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, millions of companies produce billions of consumer products each year, and the role of advertising is quite obvious here - to attract more consumers and make more sales. Adverts are supposed to help customers find goods or services that match their requirements. However, they are also the most powerful tool to shape consumers' purchasing habits in society. I believe that modern commercials are not merely matchmakers of a product and a buyer, rather they actively interfere with buyers' desires, developing artificial needs.
Advertisements are supposed to guide people to learn about different features of various products and make them conscious of what to expect from a service. However, behind the scene, such adverts create artificial needs in our minds and constantly push us to buy the latest models or new products bypassing our real needs of them. When such advertisements falsely promise us to be more young and attractive if we buy and use their products, we are often the puppet in their hand. Market-full of cosmetics, which have even overgrown the necessary sectors in many countries, just indicate how advertisements shape consumers' buying habits rather than their real needs.
Unfortunately, promoters of goods and services now control our minds more aggressively. Commercials no longer promote products, but lifestyles. They tell us to purchase things just because they are fashionable or up to date with the image of a successful person. And we buy new cars, gadgets and clothes in order to match this image and not because old ones are no longer usable.
In conclusion, I think that high sales of popular commodities in modern society are the result of new promotional technologies and tactful advertisement policy rather than people's real needs.
[ Source: Cambridge IELTS Book 6 ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a colon Original: here - to attract Suggested revision: here: to attract Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the stated purpose of advertising.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: make more sales Suggested revision: increase sales Why it matters: Increase sales is the natural collocation for raising the number of purchases.
- 3. Match plural subject Original: the most powerful tool Suggested revision: powerful tools Why it matters: The plural pronoun they requires a plural subject complement.
- 4. Choose precise wording Original: match their requirements Suggested revision: meet their needs Why it matters: Meet their needs is more natural when referring to consumers choosing products.
- 5. Clarify the relationship Original: matchmakers of a product and a buyer Suggested revision: intermediaries between products and buyers Why it matters: Intermediaries between accurately expresses the role connecting sellers' products with buyers.
- 6. Fix clause boundary Original: , rather they Suggested revision: ; rather, they Why it matters: A semicolon separates the independent clauses, and rather takes a following comma here.
- 7. Coordinate the verbs Original: buyers' desires, developing artificial needs Suggested revision: buyers' desires and create artificial needs Why it matters: A coordinated verb makes commercials the clear agent of both actions.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: guide people to learn about Suggested revision: help people learn about Why it matters: Help people learn is the idiomatic construction for enabling understanding.
- 9. Use precise phrasing Original: conscious Suggested revision: aware Why it matters: Aware of is the natural expression for knowing what a service offers.
- 10. Use fixed expression Original: scene Suggested revision: scenes Why it matters: The idiom is behind the scenes in this figurative context.
- 11. Clarify the relationship Original: new products bypassing our real needs of them Suggested revision: new products regardless of whether we really need them Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty needs of them construction and clarifies the contrast.
- 12. Use measured wording Original: control our minds more aggressively Suggested revision: influence our decisions more strongly Why it matters: Influence our decisions states the intended effect more precisely than control our minds.
Suggested Rewrites
- here - to attract here: to attract
- make more sales increase sales
- the most powerful tool powerful tools
- match their requirements meet their needs
- matchmakers of a product and a buyer intermediaries between products and buyers
- , rather they ; rather, they
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops it through relevant explanations about artificial demand and lifestyle marketing. Its main limitation is that several supporting claims remain broad, while recurrent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision despite the generally clear message. The highest-priority improvement is to express the examples in more natural, accurate language and explain their connection to sales more fully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and relevant ideas about advertising creating artificial needs.
Develop the examples more specifically by showing how particular advertising techniques translate into high sales despite limited genuine need.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from advertising's intended role to artificial demand and lifestyle promotion, with clear paragraphing.
Strengthen the link between the cosmetics example and the following lifestyle argument so that the development feels less segmented.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad vocabulary for advertising and consumer behaviour, but several collocations are awkward or inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as “more young,” “market-full of cosmetics,” and “tactful advertisement policy” with natural, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although recurring article, agreement, comparison, and sentence-boundary errors reduce control.
Proofread complex sentences for comparative forms, subject-verb agreement, articles, and comma splices before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.