In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is becoming increasingly common for companies to place focus on the novelty of their products. In my opinion, this has its basis in the psychology of consumer behavior and is generally a negative development.
The reason many marketing departments present products as new is they are hoping to incentivize increased consumer demand. One of the chief principles of business is that products must meet a real consumer need and, ideally, be unique in some way. For example, advertising for the electronic vehicles made by Tesla highlights that they are different from traditional automobiles and this offers novel benefits for the environment and the individual motorist. This strategy created a niche in the automotive industry that they eventually expanded to become one of the largest companies in the world. It follows that every business attempts to present their products as new to inspire interest and compel demand.
There are exceptions, as in the case of Tesla mentioned above, however, this trend generally leads to disingenuous ads and consumer fatigue. Most companies framing their products as new in some aspect are actually attempting to mislead the public. This is often the case with soft drink companies like Coca Cola and Pepsi that regularly rebrand their bottles and cans to give the appearance of novelty. These tactics are recognizably dishonest and audiences are rarely convinced. In fact, the net effect is that consumers become tired of watching ads for familiar products pretending to be innovative. For many customers this leads to a growing feeling of apathy and disinterest towards the exploitive methods of advertisers.
In conclusion, the reason businesses often present their products as new lies in the importance of consumer psychology and the cynical impact this has in the aggregate is negative. More savvy companies often eschew this trend and produce honest advertisements.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: place focus on Suggested revision: focus on Why it matters: Focus on conveys the same meaning more directly and naturally.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: this has its basis in Suggested revision: this is rooted in Why it matters: Be rooted in is a more natural way to describe the underlying cause.
- 3. Add the complementizer Original: is they are hoping Suggested revision: is that they hope Why it matters: A that-clause is required after is to state the reason grammatically.
- 4. Use the correct term Original: electronic Suggested revision: electric Why it matters: Electric vehicle is the established term for a vehicle powered by electricity.
- 5. Clarify the subject Original: this offers novel benefits Suggested revision: these vehicles offer novel benefits Why it matters: The plural noun phrase removes the unclear singular reference and agrees with offer.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: compel Suggested revision: stimulate Why it matters: Businesses stimulate demand; compel does not collocate naturally with demand here.
- 7. Fix the sentence boundary Original: above, however, this Suggested revision: above; however, this Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the independent clauses around the conjunctive adverb.
- 8. Use idiomatic wording Original: aspect Suggested revision: respect Why it matters: In some respect is the more idiomatic phrase for describing a particular way.
- 9. Set off the opener Original: For many customers this Suggested revision: For many customers, this Why it matters: The introductory prepositional phrase should be followed by a comma for clarity.
- 10. Correct the preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Disinterest conventionally takes the preposition in.
- 11. Use standard spelling Original: exploitive Suggested revision: exploitative Why it matters: Exploitative is the more standard form in formal written English.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This strategy created a niche in the automotive industry that they eventually expanded to become one of the largest companies in the world. Suggested revision: This strategy created a niche in the automotive industry, which Tesla eventually expanded to become one of the largest companies in the world. Why it matters: The rewrite gives eventually expanded a clear subject and removes the faulty reference of they.
Suggested Rewrites
- place focus on focus on
- this has its basis in this is rooted in
- is they are hoping is that they hope
- electronic electric
- this offers novel benefits these vehicles offer novel benefits
- compel stimulate
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both questions, maintains a clear negative evaluation, and develops its argument with specific, well-integrated examples and sophisticated language. The main weakness is occasional imprecision or overstatement in the supporting logic, alongside a few awkward sentence connections. Refine causal claims and polish the handful of structurally awkward sentences so that the analysis is as precise as the vocabulary and organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are fully addressed through a clear explanation of demand creation and a sustained evaluation of the trend as generally negative.
Make the causal link in the Tesla example more exact and qualify universal claims such as every business attempts this strategy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is easy to follow, with well-managed paragraphing, clear progression, and cohesive devices that support rather than dominate the reasoning.
Smooth the transition into the concession about Tesla so that the contrast does not interrupt the flow of the second body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with effective choices such as incentivize, niche, disingenuous, consumer fatigue, and eschew.
Refine the few less natural or inaccurate choices, including electronic vehicles and the phrasing of the cynical impact in the conclusion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only occasional non-impeding awkwardness or punctuation lapses.
Revise the sentence beginning There are exceptions to avoid the comma-splice structure and clarify its concession cleanly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.