In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In their advertising, businesses today often promote the idea that there is something new in their products. I believe they do this because it can help them beat their competitors. This should be seen as a positive development because new features are there to respond to consumers’ new needs.
By advertising something new they have created, brands can increase their chances of staying ahead of their competitors. No matter what product a company sells, there are always hundreds, if not thousands, of similar ones on the market that consumers can choose from. If the company does not inform consumers through its marketing that the product is innovative in some way, it will just be one of the many out there, rather than one that is different and grabs consumers’ attention. For example, in an iPhone commercial, Apple effectively delivers the message that the latest version of iOS allows users to disable cross-app tracking. This new feature which no other smartphone has can definitely help Apple attract new buyers since nowadays people are becoming more and more concerned about their online privacy.
I think this is a positive development because consumers have new requirements that need new products to satisfy them. For example, with all the digital devices at their fingertips, people nowadays want to limit their screen time more than they did a decade ago. Noticing this change, Amazon has launched a screenless fitness band called the Amazon Halo. This screenless feature is something existing fitness trackers such as Apple Watches and Fitbits cannot offer.
In conclusion, emphasizing the newness of their products in advertising is an effective way for brands to stand out from the competition. This is a positive development because new features can meet customers’ new needs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: there is something new in their products Suggested revision: their products offer something new Why it matters: Products offer features, making this phrasing more natural and direct.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: beat Suggested revision: outperform Why it matters: Outperform is more precise and suitably formal for an academic essay.
- 3. Remove wordiness Original: new features are there to respond to Suggested revision: new features address Why it matters: The concise verb directly expresses how features meet consumer needs.
- 4. Specify the object Original: advertising something new they have created Suggested revision: advertising innovations they have created Why it matters: Innovations names the advertised quality more precisely than something new.
- 5. Clarify noun reference Original: ones Suggested revision: products Why it matters: Repeating the noun removes any momentary ambiguity in the reference.
- 6. Use formal expression Original: out there Suggested revision: on the market Why it matters: On the market is more precise and formal than the conversational phrase out there.
- 7. Improve collocation Original: delivers Suggested revision: conveys Why it matters: Conveys the message is the standard collocation in this context.
- 8. Use precise relative clause Original: which no other smartphone has Suggested revision: that no other smartphone offers Why it matters: That clearly introduces the defining clause, while offers collocates naturally with a feature.
- 9. Streamline causal link Original: since nowadays Suggested revision: because Why it matters: Because states the causal link without the awkward combination of since and nowadays.
- 10. Avoid repeated wording Original: new requirements that need new products to satisfy them Suggested revision: new needs that new products can satisfy Why it matters: The revision removes repetitive uses of need while preserving the original meaning.
- 11. Clarify comparison Original: want to limit their screen time more than they did a decade ago Suggested revision: are more eager to limit their screen time than they were a decade ago Why it matters: The revision compares the strength of the desire rather than ambiguously comparing the amount limited.
- 12. Choose concise noun Original: newness Suggested revision: novelty Why it matters: Novelty expresses the same idea more concisely and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- there is something new in their products their products offer something new
- beat outperform
- new features are there to respond to new features address
- advertising something new they have created advertising innovations they have created
- ones products
- out there on the market
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a focused and fluent response that answers both questions clearly and supports its claims with concrete commercial examples. The main limitation is conceptual: the positive-development argument sometimes treats advertising newness as identical to creating genuinely useful innovations, so the evaluation of the advertising practice itself is less searching. Distinguishing promotional emphasis from actual product improvement and considering a possible consumer effect would make the judgement more persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive clear answers, and the competition and consumer-needs arguments are relevant and well supported.
Evaluate the emphasis used in advertising more directly instead of assuming that promoted newness always represents useful innovation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is easy to follow, with purposeful paragraphing, clear progression, and well-controlled cohesive links.
Make the logical bridge between the advertising practice and its claimed positive effects more explicit in the third paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural across the discussion of competition, marketing, technology, and consumer needs.
Reduce repetition of new and newness by using more context-specific terms for innovation, features, and promotional claims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are combined flexibly, and the response is almost entirely error-free.
Refine punctuation around embedded relative clauses to make sentence boundaries consistently precise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.