Some people believe that living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has many advantages while others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory. What type of accommodation would you prefer? Why?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
[Advantages + Disadvantages + I would prefer to live in an apartment.] Living in an apartment or a university dormitory is a common debate among college and university students. While both options have their advantages and disadvantages, personal preferences and priorities ultimately dictate the choice of accommodation. I would personally prefer to live in an apartment to enjoy better privacy and flexibility.
One of the main advantages of living in an apartment is the freedom it provides. Unlike a dormitory, apartments offer more privacy and flexibility. Individuals can decorate and furnish their apartments to their liking and can invite guests at their convenience. Apartments provide a more independent lifestyle, enabling individuals to cook their meals, do their laundry and manage their finances independently. Unlike separate apartments, university dormitories are often crowded, noisy, and lack privacy. Dormitories may also have strict rules and regulations, limiting the individual's freedom and independence which is not the case when someone decides to live in an apartment.
The first disadvantage of living in an apartment is the higher costs and additional responsibilities. Renting an apartment can be more expensive than living in a dormitory, and it also requires individuals to pay for utilities and other expenses. Besides, while dormitories offer a strong sense of community and provide an opportunity for individuals to socialize and make new friends easily, this is not the case when someone chooses a personal accommodation away from the university.
Personally, I would choose an apartment to live in rather than the university dormitory because that would offer me more privacy, allowing me to have my own space and freedom. Additionally, an apartment would provide me with greater independence, as I would be able to cook my own meals and have more control over my living situation.
In conclusion, the choice of accommodation depends on the individual's personal preferences and priorities. While apartments offer more independence, privacy, and flexibility, university dormitories provide a strong sense of community and social opportunities. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide which option suits them better. But when I would need to decide, I would pick an apartment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove planning note Original: [Advantages + Disadvantages + I would prefer to live in an apartment.] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This bracketed planning label is not part of the essay and interrupts the opening.
- 2. Fix debate collocation Original: is a common debate Suggested revision: is a common topic of debate Why it matters: An accommodation choice is a topic of debate rather than a debate itself.
- 3. Use natural comparison Original: better privacy Suggested revision: greater privacy Why it matters: ‘Greater privacy’ is the natural collocation for comparing levels of privacy.
- 4. Make comparison parallel Original: Unlike a dormitory, apartments offer Suggested revision: Unlike dormitories, apartments offer Why it matters: The two accommodation types should be compared in parallel plural forms.
- 5. Remove imprecise modifier Original: Unlike separate apartments Suggested revision: Unlike apartments Why it matters: ‘Separate’ is unnecessary and makes the comparison with dormitories unclear.
- 6. Clarify contrast Original: freedom and independence which is not the case when someone decides to live in an apartment Suggested revision: freedom and independence, unlike living in an apartment Why it matters: The revision makes the contrast refer clearly to the restrictions imposed by dormitories.
- 7. Avoid false sequence Original: The first disadvantage Suggested revision: A major disadvantage Why it matters: The paragraph does not introduce a later numbered disadvantage, so ‘first’ creates an unsupported sequence.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: the higher costs Suggested revision: higher costs Why it matters: The plural noun refers generally to increased expenses and does not require ‘the’.
- 9. Use formal connector Original: Besides, while Suggested revision: In addition, while Why it matters: ‘In addition’ links this social disadvantage more naturally to the preceding cost point.
- 10. Use uncountable accommodation Original: a personal accommodation Suggested revision: private accommodation Why it matters: ‘Accommodation’ is uncountable here, and ‘private’ expresses the intended contrast more precisely.
- 11. Fix comparison structure Original: choose an apartment to live in rather than the university dormitory Suggested revision: choose to live in an apartment rather than a university dormitory Why it matters: The infinitive and articles need parallel structure when comparing the two options.
- 12. Fix conditional form Original: But when I would need to decide Suggested revision: However, if I needed to decide Why it matters: A hypothetical condition takes ‘if’ and a past form rather than ‘when’ with ‘would’.
Suggested Rewrites
- [Advantages + Disadvantages + I would prefer to live in an apartment.] Delete
- is a common debate is a common topic of debate
- better privacy greater privacy
- Unlike a dormitory, apartments offer Unlike dormitories, apartments offer
- Unlike separate apartments Unlike apartments
- freedom and independence which is not the case when someone decides to live in an apartment freedom and independence, unlike living in an apartment
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its complete and clearly organised treatment of the advantages, disadvantages, personal preference, and reasons for that choice. Its main limitation is repetition: privacy, independence, and flexibility are restated several times without adding much depth, while the disadvantages receive less development. The highest priority is to replace repeated preference points with a more specific explanation of how the trade-offs would affect the writer’s student life.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Every part of the task is answered with a clear preference and relevant, extended discussion of freedom, cost, responsibility, privacy, and community.
Develop the personal justification beyond repeating earlier advantages by explaining how those priorities would shape the writer’s daily university experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided into focused paragraphs and progresses clearly, though some points and comparative patterns are repeated.
Streamline repeated references to privacy and independence and connect the preferred option more directly to the preceding trade-off discussion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to accommodation and student life, with only occasional awkward choices or repetition.
Replace less natural phrases such as ‘a personal accommodation’ and vary repeated uses of ‘privacy’, ‘flexibility’, and ‘independence’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence structures is handled accurately, with only minor lapses in articles, punctuation, and conditional phrasing.
Polish isolated forms such as ‘when I need to decide’ and add punctuation where relative clauses require clearer separation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has many advantages while others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory. What type of accommodation would you prefer? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.