Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many today argue that international collaboration mainly serves to benefit businesses while others feel there are greater advantages overall for the environment. I would side with the former viewpoint due to the concrete and tangible outcomes.
Proponents of the environmental benefits of international cooperation emphasize the global challenges now being met by collective action. Climate change, for instance, is a quintessential example of an issue transcending national borders. The 2015 Paris Agreement, which saw nearly 200 countries commit to limiting global temperature rise, illustrates how international cooperation tackles environmental crises. This agreement, borne out of multilateral negotiations, demonstrates how countries now work together to implement emission reduction targets, promote sustainable development, and support climate resilience efforts in vulnerable regions. These efforts along with various wildlife protection treaties, underscore the reality of cross-border efforts to conserve natural habitats and endangered species.
Conversely, the global economy is intricately linked through trade agreements, investment treaties, and multinational corporations. Free trade agreements, such as the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) and the European Union’s Single Market, demonstrate how countries collaborate to facilitate trade, reduce tariffs, and stimulate economic growth. These agreements benefit businesses by opening new markets, enhancing supply chain efficiencies, and fostering innovation. As a result, international business partnerships can drive technological and economic development. For instance, collaborations between tech giants and global firms enable the sharing of resources, knowledge, and technology, accelerating progress in various sectors, from information technology to renewable energy. Such partnerships illustrate how business interests have been a significant driver of international cooperation, with economic gains often translating into tangible improved living standards.
In conclusion, while international cooperation undoubtedly benefits both the environment and the business world, the latter, unfortunately, enjoys the greatest general advantages. Nonetheless, balancing economic interests with environmental stewardship is crucial for fostering a sustainable and equitable future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct verb Original: mainly serves to benefit businesses Suggested revision: mainly benefits businesses Why it matters: The direct verb removes unnecessary wording without changing the claim.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: greater advantages overall for the environment Suggested revision: greater overall benefits for the environment Why it matters: Overall benefits is the more natural collocation in this comparison.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: concrete and tangible outcomes Suggested revision: tangible outcomes Why it matters: Concrete and tangible express the same idea here, so one adjective is sufficient.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: now being met by collective action Suggested revision: being addressed through collective action Why it matters: Challenges are more naturally addressed than met in this context.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: implement emission reduction targets Suggested revision: implement emissions-reduction measures Why it matters: Countries implement measures while targets are set, pursued, or met.
- 6. Set off inserted phrase Original: These efforts along with various wildlife protection treaties, Suggested revision: These efforts, along with various wildlife protection treaties, Why it matters: The along with phrase should be enclosed by commas rather than followed by a single comma.
- 7. Avoid repeated wording Original: underscore the reality of cross-border efforts Suggested revision: demonstrate the value of cross-border action Why it matters: This avoids repeating efforts and expresses the point more precisely.
- 8. Fix noun structure Original: tangible improved living standards Suggested revision: tangible improvements in living standards Why it matters: The original adjective sequence is ungrammatical and needs a noun phrase.
- 9. Clarify the comparison Original: the greatest general advantages Suggested revision: the greater overall benefits Why it matters: Greater accurately compares the two beneficiaries and overall benefits is more natural.
- 10. Clarify the transition Original: Nonetheless Suggested revision: At the same time Why it matters: This transition adds a concurrent qualification rather than implying a direct contradiction.
- 11. Strengthen internal progression Suggested revision: Use a clearer transition when moving from trade agreements to technological partnerships so the second example visibly extends the business-benefit argument. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts between two forms of cooperation without clearly signalling how the second develops the first.
Suggested Rewrites
- mainly serves to benefit businesses mainly benefits businesses
- greater advantages overall for the environment greater overall benefits for the environment
- concrete and tangible outcomes tangible outcomes
- now being met by collective action being addressed through collective action
- implement emission reduction targets implement emissions-reduction measures
- These efforts along with various wildlife protection treaties, These efforts, along with various wildlife protection treaties,
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is strongest in its well-developed, specific treatment of both environmental and commercial benefits, supported by apt real-world examples and fluent academic language. The main limitation is that the preference for business benefits is asserted more clearly than it is comparatively demonstrated. The highest-priority improvement is to explain explicitly why the economic outcomes are greater than the environmental gains, using a direct evaluative comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully discussed with relevant, extended examples, and a clear opinion is maintained, although the comparative basis for that opinion could be more explicit.
Add a direct comparison explaining why the scale or tangibility of business benefits outweighs the environmental benefits already described.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced clearly in a purposeful four-paragraph structure, and cohesive devices generally guide the argument smoothly.
Strengthen the transition from discussion to evaluation by explicitly linking the evidence in the two body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and precise academic vocabulary naturally, with only occasional slightly awkward combinations.
Polish minor collocations such as the phrasing around improved living standards to make expression consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and mostly error-free, with minor punctuation and agreement slips that do not impede communication.
Check subject-verb separation and avoid inserting commas between a complete subject phrase and its verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.