Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is perceived by many that metropolitan cities are ominous for our well-being as opposed to living in rural areas. While the former offers a hectic lifestyle and have much more pollution, the latter grants a tranquil and favourable environment for our physical and psychological benefits. I completely agree with this viewpoint for several reasons. Firstly, almost all big cities have an intolerable level of air, sound and environmental pollutions primarily due to the increasing number of vehicles, carbon emission, wastages of industries, metro facilities and amenities for a modern lifestyle. On top of that, the population density in big cities is much higher, and it creates an unhealthy living standard in many parts. Finally, people in big cities often rely on processed food as they are busy. This unhealthy food habit, along with pollution, emerges as a serious threat to their health in the long run. For instance, more than 60 per cent of school students in large municipalities in developing countries are exposed to a higher level of air and sound pollutions and eat junk food which severely affects their physical and mental health. Secondly, it is generally known that stresses in metropolises are considerably higher due to many factors. One of the main factors is the long working hours. Secondly, living costs in big cities are high. Although people earn higher in metro areas, their salaries, oftentimes, do not meet their needs and expectations, which adversely impact their psychology. Long working hours combined with severe traffic jam consume their time and they have little time left to spend with their families. To conclude, it is inevitable that pollution, stresses and unhealthy food jeopardize people’s health in big cities, and this is why it is justified to state that living in large cities is damaging for people's well-being.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid redundant wording Original: metropolitan Suggested revision: large Why it matters: Metropolitan and cities repeat the same idea, so a simpler phrase is more precise.
- 2. Use the right collocation Original: ominous for our well-being Suggested revision: harmful to our well-being Why it matters: Ominous describes something that suggests future trouble rather than something directly damaging to health.
- 3. Match the singular subject Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The subject the former is singular and therefore takes has.
- 4. Use a natural verb Original: grants Suggested revision: offers Why it matters: Offers collocates more naturally with environment in this comparison.
- 5. Name the health outcome Original: physical and psychological benefits Suggested revision: physical and psychological well-being Why it matters: An environment can support well-being, whereas for our benefits is an unnatural construction here.
- 6. Use standard pollution terms Original: air, sound and environmental pollutions Suggested revision: air, noise and other forms of environmental pollution Why it matters: Noise pollution is the standard term, and pollution is normally uncountable in this general sense.
- 7. Use the plural noun Original: emission Suggested revision: emissions Why it matters: The general output from many vehicles is expressed with the plural emissions.
- 8. Use industrial waste Original: wastages of industries Suggested revision: industrial waste Why it matters: Industrial waste is the established phrase for waste produced by industry.
- 9. Use living conditions Original: an unhealthy living standard Suggested revision: unhealthy living conditions Why it matters: Living conditions describes the quality of the physical circumstances in which people live.
- 10. Use eating habit Original: food Suggested revision: eating Why it matters: Eating habit is the natural collocation for a recurring pattern of food consumption.
- 11. Use a direct collocation Original: emerges as a serious threat Suggested revision: poses a serious threat Why it matters: Poses a threat is the conventional and more direct collocation.
- 12. Correct pollution wording Original: air and sound pollutions Suggested revision: air and noise pollution Why it matters: Noise is the correct term, and pollution is uncountable in this general reference.
Suggested Rewrites
- metropolitan large
- ominous for our well-being harmful to our well-being
- have has
- grants offers
- physical and psychological benefits physical and psychological well-being
- air, sound and environmental pollutions air, noise and other forms of environmental pollution
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear position and develops several relevant links between city life and poorer physical or psychological health. Its main limitation is that the entire response forms one paragraph, while recurring awkward collocations and agreement errors reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the ideas into a distinct introduction, focused body paragraphs, and conclusion, using transitions that clarify rather than merely enumerate points.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained and supported through relevant discussion of pollution, diet, stress, costs, and commuting.
Develop the strongest claims with more precise evidence instead of relying on broad or unsupported generalisations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a broadly logical sequence, but presenting the whole essay as one paragraph weakens its structure and makes some sequencing mechanical.
Separate the introduction, major reasons, and conclusion into logical paragraphs and use topic-led transitions within them.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of health and urban-life vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and unnecessary plurals reduce precision.
Prefer natural forms such as “air and noise pollution,” “industrial waste,” “stress,” and “earn more.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, although agreement, article, number, and punctuation errors recur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and singular-plural control systematically, especially in long sentences with several clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.