Business organisations should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The issue whether the business organisations should hire employees for their entire life or not is a widely debated issue. It’s quite a debatable topic as it has both positive and negative impacts on organisations as well as people working in those organisations. To look at the positive side, hiring people for entire life earns their loyalty to an organisation which is an important attribute any company look forward to in its employees. Employees feel much more confident while working as they are not insecure about their job and future. This also creates a high level of Job satisfaction among employees. Loyalty and satisfied employees are any organisation's biggest strength and help the company succeed and reach a new height. As employee foresee their future with the company, they see their growth in the organisation's growth. So they work with full passion to achieve company goals eyeing their growth as part of the organisation. But hiring people for the lifetime will have some negative impacts also on organisations. As employees know they have been hired for the lifetime, they tend to take their jobs for granted and this ultimately reduces their productivity. When people work in the same place they tend to loose passion and zeal to work. Although it makes them comfortable with their work and they generate outputs currently but they will not feel passionate about their work in the long run. Also in such cases, it’s difficult to get any innovations done by the employees. These are not good signs for any organisation's growth Looking at both positive and negative sides, I feel organisation should hire for a long term to make employees feel secure and productive. As part of appreciation for productive and effective employees, an organisation can make them employed for a lifetime. This will set a good example for all employees.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the preposition Original: issue whether Suggested revision: issue of whether Why it matters: The noun “issue” requires “of” before a whether-clause.
- 2. Use plural agreement Original: for their entire life or not Suggested revision: for their entire lives Why it matters: The plural noun “employees” requires the plural “lives,” and “or not” is unnecessary here.
- 3. Use concise transition Original: To look at the positive side Suggested revision: On the positive side Why it matters: This shorter transition introduces the advantages more directly.
- 4. Use natural duration phrase Original: hiring people for entire life Suggested revision: hiring people for life Why it matters: “For life” is the natural expression for permanent employment.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: their Suggested revision: employee Why it matters: “Earns employee loyalty” expresses the intended relationship more directly.
- 6. Fix verb and phrase Original: any company look forward to Suggested revision: any company looks for Why it matters: The singular subject requires “looks,” and companies look for qualities rather than look forward to them.
- 7. State the idea directly Original: they are not insecure Suggested revision: they feel secure Why it matters: The positive form is clearer and more concise in this sentence.
- 8. Use lowercase Original: Job Suggested revision: job Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalised.
- 9. Use parallel forms Original: Loyalty Suggested revision: Loyal Why it matters: Both coordinated words should function as adjectives modifying “employees.”
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: any organisation's biggest strength Suggested revision: among any organisation's greatest strengths Why it matters: The plural subject needs a plural complement, and “among” makes the relationship grammatical.
- 11. Correct the expression Original: reach a new height Suggested revision: reach new heights Why it matters: The established expression for achieving greater success is “reach new heights.”
- 12. Fix plural agreement Original: employee Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: The plural pronoun “they” later in the sentence requires the plural noun “employees.”
Suggested Rewrites
- issue whether issue of whether
- for their entire life or not for their entire lives
- To look at the positive side On the positive side
- hiring people for entire life hiring people for life
- their employee
- any company look forward to any company looks for
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response considers advantages and disadvantages in a logical sequence and reaches a clear, qualified position that long-term employment should precede lifetime retention for effective workers. Its main weakness is that the entire discussion forms one dense paragraph and contains frequent grammatical and collocational errors; the highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs with clear topic sentences and controlled sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The issue is addressed through relevant benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion gives a defensible qualified position, though support remains somewhat general.
Add a concrete example or fuller explanation to show when lifetime employment would improve or reduce organisational performance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses from benefits to drawbacks and a conclusion, but presenting everything as one paragraph weakens organisation and readability.
Separate the introduction, contrasting body arguments, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with focused controlling ideas.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for employment and productivity, but repetition and awkward collocations reduce flexibility and precision.
Replace repeated forms of organisation and lifetime with accurate alternatives and revise unnatural phrases such as get innovations done.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex ideas are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, plurality, punctuation, and clause-structure errors are frequent.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and avoid faulty paired structures such as using although together with but.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Business organisations should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.