Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Sample Response
I do not agree with the statement that businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. I state my opinion on the following points. First of all, every company must have its moral code. It means that a company should treat its clients properly and respect their rights. Of cause a company may lose a part of its profit but security of its clients must be on the first place. Otherwise, clients will switch to another company and never be back. For instance, a few years ago "Jonson&Jonson" produced a new type of painkillers. Unfortunately, this product was not tested properly. As a result of this many people died and received injures. The president of the company made a crucial decision to call back all painkillers from all distributors and pay to all injured customers for their treatment. It cost a lot of money for the company but it saved its image and clients. It was a very difficult decision, but the president of the company understood that it would cost him even more in the future because he would not be able to return clients' respect. Loosing customers means for a company loosing its profit. Second of all, in order to succeed in the modern world companies have to compete with each other. Many companies lose their profit decreasing prices on their products. They do not aspire for extra profit but for clients' satisfaction. Companies do it because they want their products sold and their customers satisfied. They offer discounts, free delivery, free service, free Internet access, good return service, etc. All these are done to make their old customers happy and attract new clients. To sum up, I think a company, which the only goal is profit will not succeed nowadays. Otherwise, companies that respect their clients and want to see them satisfied will make a fortune.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use indefinite article Original: its Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Each company has one unspecified code, so the indefinite article is appropriate.
- 2. Correct fixed phrase Original: cause Suggested revision: course Why it matters: The fixed expression is spelled 'of course'.
- 3. Use natural quantity phrase Original: lose a part of its profit Suggested revision: lose some of its profit Why it matters: 'Some of its profit' is the more natural way to express an unspecified amount.
- 4. Choose accurate noun Original: security of its clients Suggested revision: the safety of its clients Why it matters: 'Safety' describes protection from harm more accurately than 'security' in this context.
- 5. Fix fixed expression Original: on the first place Suggested revision: in first place Why it matters: The standard expression for priority is 'in first place'.
- 6. Use natural verb Original: never be back Suggested revision: never return Why it matters: 'Return' is the idiomatic verb for clients coming back to a company.
- 7. Use concise result linker Original: As a result of this Suggested revision: As a result, Why it matters: The concise linker needs a comma before the resulting main clause.
- 8. Correct word and collocation Original: received injures Suggested revision: suffered injuries Why it matters: People 'suffer injuries', and 'injuries' is the required noun form.
- 9. Use precise verb Original: call back all painkillers Suggested revision: recall all the painkillers Why it matters: 'Recall' is the standard verb for withdrawing a product from distributors.
- 10. Fix payment structure Original: pay to all injured customers for their treatment Suggested revision: pay for the treatment of all injured customers Why it matters: The verb 'pay' takes 'for' before the expense being covered.
- 11. Use precise business terms Original: saved its image and clients Suggested revision: protected its reputation and retained its clients Why it matters: The revised verbs clearly express preserving reputation and customer loyalty.
- 12. Correct respect collocation Original: return clients' respect Suggested revision: regain its clients' respect Why it matters: A company regains respect that it has lost; it does not return that respect.
Suggested Rewrites
- its a
- cause course
- lose a part of its profit lose some of its profit
- security of its clients the safety of its clients
- on the first place in first place
- never be back never return
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and supports it with a concrete business example plus a second argument about customer-focused competition. Its main limitation is that the second idea partly overlaps with the profit motive and several awkward collocations and grammar errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to sharpen the distinction between ethical limits and long-term profitability, then edit sentence structures and word choice for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the response develops relevant reasons about corporate responsibility and customer relationships with specific support.
Explain more explicitly how the second argument proves that businesses should accept limits on profit-seeking rather than merely pursue profit strategically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a clear introduction, two main points, and conclusion, but the lack of visible paragraphing and mechanical sequencing weaken presentation.
Place each main argument in its own paragraph and use more specific logical links between ethical conduct, customer trust, and lasting success.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a useful range of business vocabulary, though spelling mistakes and awkward collocations repeatedly reduce naturalness and precision.
Correct recurring forms such as losing and injuries, and learn standard phrases such as put safety first, recall a product, and lower prices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence patterns and remains understandable, but errors in articles, relative clauses, prepositions, and participle structures are noticeable.
Review sentence boundaries and noun phrases, especially clauses beginning with which and constructions that describe cause or method.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.