Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The argument about the capital punishment or death penalty is a very controversial one. Some people think that without death penalty it is impossible to retain the law and order in a country while others stand totally against the capital punishment and describe it as inhuman. Both sides have their logic to support their opinion. In my opinion, capital punishment should be only used in a situation where there is no other alternative. Otherwise, penalties rather than death should be tried to punish anyone.
Sometimes the law and order of a country become so fragile and out of control that the Government and law enforcing agencies must show the mass people that a criminal is punished severely and other should not dare to do the same crime. In these cases, many criminals are hung till death or even send to the electronic chairs and there really left no alternative rather than that. Again there come situations even in a very peaceful society that all the people show contempt to the criminal and expect some exemplary punishment. For example, all the people expect a terrible penalty for a serial killer or a lunatic rapist. Most of these killers and criminals are severely damaged psychologically and the possibility of their being normal again is almost zero. This kind of person who has taken other people's lives and dignity should be punished with the highest penalty like death to make the society a better place to live in. Finally, those who betray with the country and compromise with the enemy with the freedom of the motherland should be hung till death in another word should be given capital punishment because of their heinous act. But we must consider that we cannot create a living being and we never have the right to take the lives of a living being. So if we punish even a single innocent soul with the punishment he/she does not deserve then the whole system will be corrupted. If an innocent citizen is imprisoned and proved not guilty at a later time we can at least take him/her out from the prison but what if we've already killed him/her? There would be no way to remorse and the whole law will be condemned. Moreover, if there are chances that a criminal will remorse for what he/she has done and will lead a normal and peaceful life, then he/she should be given a chance. I believe that some criminals are simply dangerous for the society and will always be no matter how much opportunities and support they are given, and they should be given the death penalty. But if there is the slightest chance that the criminal was a victim of the situation and tried to save his/herself or any logic in favour of the crime, should be given chance at least once. And the capital punishment should be used only in some extreme cases rather than using it as the law prevailing policy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: without death penalty Suggested revision: without the death penalty Why it matters: The established punishment requires the definite article in this context.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: retain the law and order Suggested revision: maintain law and order Why it matters: Maintain law and order is the standard collocation, with no article before the paired phrase.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: stand totally against the capital punishment Suggested revision: strongly oppose capital punishment Why it matters: Strongly oppose is more concise and idiomatic than stand totally against.
- 4. Clarify the noun phrase Original: their logic to support their opinion Suggested revision: arguments to support their positions Why it matters: Arguments and positions accurately express the reasoning held by the two groups.
- 5. Place adverb correctly Original: should be only used Suggested revision: should only be used Why it matters: Only should directly precede the verb phrase it limits.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: no other alternative Suggested revision: no alternative Why it matters: Alternative already means another option, so other is redundant.
- 7. Use precise term Original: penalties rather than death Suggested revision: non-lethal penalties Why it matters: Non-lethal penalties states the intended contrast with the death penalty directly.
- 8. Correct passive construction Original: should be tried to punish anyone Suggested revision: should be used to punish offenders Why it matters: Penalties are used rather than tried, and offenders is more precise than anyone.
- 9. Correct the preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Contempt takes the preposition for before its object.
- 10. Choose precise adjective Original: terrible Suggested revision: severe Why it matters: Severe describes the intensity of a punishment more accurately than terrible.
- 11. Use natural wording Original: damaged psychologically Suggested revision: psychologically disturbed Why it matters: Psychologically disturbed is a more natural description of the condition claimed.
- 12. Use concise gerund Original: their being normal again Suggested revision: their recovering Why it matters: The gerund recovering expresses the possibility of returning to a normal condition clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- without death penalty without the death penalty
- retain the law and order maintain law and order
- stand totally against the capital punishment strongly oppose capital punishment
- their logic to support their opinion arguments to support their positions
- should be only used should only be used
- no other alternative no alternative
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear qualified position and explores both the perceived deterrent value of capital punishment and the risks of irreversible injustice. Its range of ideas and vocabulary is a strength, but the oversized second paragraph weakens progression, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the competing arguments into focused paragraphs and express each claim in more controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified position is maintained and both punishment and wrongful conviction are discussed, though several claims are overgeneralised and only loosely tied to controlling violence.
Link each example explicitly to whether capital punishment is essential for reducing violent crime and support broad claims with more measured reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are broadly sequenced and linked, but almost the entire discussion occupies one very long paragraph, obscuring shifts between supporting and opposing arguments.
Separate the case for capital punishment, the case against it, and the final judgement into focused paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a reasonably broad range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as ‘mass people’, ‘hung till death’, and ‘way to remorse’ with natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys the main meaning, but frequent errors in agreement, passives, articles, pronouns, and sentence boundaries limit control.
Shorten overloaded sentences and systematically check that every clause has a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and complete complement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.