Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually, we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
As we know, consumer behaviourAs we know consumer behaviour has changed significantly through the usechanged remarkably by the use of plastic cards like debit cards and credit cardsdebit cards credit cards and such tremendous changes have completely affected our daily liveslife. It is likely that we will no longer use paper money in near future and will create a friendly and safer cashless society. I partially agree with this perspective.
On the one hand, I totally accept that the development of credit cards and debit cards benefits people a lot. We can easily pay multiple bills in a single transactionsum up bills in one payment, efficiently manage accounts and even purchase a luxury handbagpick up a luxury handbag or any other product from an overseas website and pay online. There are also extra services which are provided by credit card companies such as payment insurance, purchase protectionprotections of shopping etc. As a result,Due to the fact, people are becoming accustomed to card paymentspeople get used to plastic money which has prompted several companieswhich impulsive several companies like Apple and Alibaba to develop additional digital payment methodsfurther virtual payment such as the mobile wallet. Finally, this trend will lead us to a new era of cashless transactionsa new generation of cashless society.
On the other hand, the forms of money have changed throughout human historyhad transited in our human history several times, from shells and precious metals to plastic cardsfrom shells, rare metal to plastic money, and now we are still in the period of transition. No one can promise a cashless society will make payments saferour payment safer and better for individuals overallcompletely better for the individual. There is a good amount of coverage and news reveal that some people do not revolve their credit and overuse credit card. Furthermore, credit card fraud can happen in several ways, and it is difficult for people to prevent it by themselves or even deal with it. Thus, a cashless society may not result inmay not equal to a safer or more suitable societya well-protected or more suitable world for everyone.
In conclusion, it seems to me that plastic money improves our life and a society without cash will emerge soonwill be coming soon. However, I doubt that it will offer a higher quality of life or be safer for ordinary peoplethere will be much higher in quality and harmless for ordinary people.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear qualified position and supports it with relevant benefits and risks of cashless payment. Its main limitation is that several points remain general or awkwardly expressed, which weakens precision and development despite a logical overall structure. The highest priority is to explain each key claim more specifically while using accurate collocations and controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both convenience and safety and maintains a clear partial-agreement position, though some supporting points are asserted rather than fully explained.
Develop each main claim with a more specific explanation or example showing exactly how it supports the qualified position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and contrasting progression are clear, although some linking and sentence-to-sentence references are mechanical or imprecise.
Use clearer logical references between claims and reduce formulaic transitions so that each paragraph develops more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as manage debt, drive companies to innovate, and provide consumer protection.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys the main meaning, but recurring article, agreement, verb-form, and sentence-structure errors remain noticeable.
Edit complex sentences for complete clause structure and check articles, subject-verb agreement, and verb forms systematically.