Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
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Sample Response
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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politiciansmake more money compared to people working in politics. This essay will look at the possible causes of this tendency and explain why, in my opinion, this is a negative development.
There are two main reasons why celebrities generate more income than politicians. One of them is that with the advent of the Internet, there are more ways available for celebrities to earn money, such as online streaming services. For example, posting a song on YouTubesinging a song in a YouTube video containing advertisementswith some advertisements enables them to easily make a few million dollars. Another cogent reason for this is growing global concernthe growing global concerns over excessively high remuneration for political leaders, which can easily lead to public discontent. In response to such criticism, many governments have decided to reform the reward system for lawmakers, reducing their salariessending their salaries on a downward trend.
I personally believe that this development is relatively negative for several reasons, with the main one being the potential corruption scandals this issue can create. The enormous salary gap between celebrities and political leaders might discourage the legislators from doing their jobsputting in work or even motivate them to commit crimes such as money laundering. In addition, the relatively low salary for stressful jobs of governors may deter people with political insightforesight on politics from becoming politicians. This is particularly undesirable because it would result in a low level of citizens’ loyaltylow level of citizens’ loyalty to their incompetent government, creating an unstable societyunstable society with more crime and other social problems.
In conclusion, the fact that celebrities are paid more than political leaders now is caused by a wider variety of income sources available to them, and supported by the social norm that a politician should not be a profit driven professional. However, I believe this is a negative trend which may lead to more political corruption and less capabletalented governments.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response fully addresses both questions, maintains a clear negative position, and organises its causes and consequences into a persuasive progression. Its main limitation is imprecise expression in several otherwise sophisticated claims, especially around political salaries, corruption, and the qualities needed in politicians. Focus on choosing more natural collocations and qualifying speculative cause-and-effect links so the strong ideas are conveyed with greater precision and credibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are answered directly with a clear position, relevant causes, and well-developed negative consequences.
Qualify the more speculative link between salary gaps and crimes such as money laundering, or support it with a more plausible causal explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from causes to evaluation, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links that remain unobtrusive.
Tighten the final chain from less capable politicians to social instability so each consequence follows more explicitly from the preceding one.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates broad topic vocabulary and an ability to discuss remuneration, public discontent, corruption, and political competence.
Improve collocational precision in phrases such as 'foresight on politics', 'less talented governments', and 'putting in work'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and mostly accurately, although several article, number, and preposition slips remain visible.
Edit noun phrases carefully for articles and plurality, especially 'low level', 'unstable society', and references to salaries and political roles.