Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It has been argued by a few masses that people must switch from one job to another in their span of employment; while on the other hand, staying at the same place is more advantageous for employees, the organisation as well as the community. My inclination goes with the latter view that I am going to express in the upcoming paragraphs.
First off, those who believe that making a shift in the workforce is mandatory for the person. Firstly, there are higher chances of getting a big sum of money as income. So, a bigger salary will help them in getting all the amenities such as luxury cars, bungalows and people can lead a lavish lifestyle. Secondly, they will get a chance to enjoy a cosmopolitan ambience. As it is seen that working in a multicultural society, people exchange their ideas and experiences. Thus, they will have more mutual understanding, and they will be able to learn essential skills like tolerance feeling of brotherhood and to name but a few. Last but not least, sometimes a change in a person’s life is indispensable to satisfy one’s thirst for exploring life.
On the other hand, staying in the same position is considered beneficial for the community, personnel and any firm. Personnel do plenty of services for making the life of community people convenient. For example, if a company is established in a local area, then the locals build their trust in it, and that company will always focus on the needs of people, and it will manufacture the products according to their needs and even at discounted rates. Therefore, it is lucrative for the growth of a company and its staff. In addition, it gives a way to appoint workers from the local area, and it saves the money of the company. For instance, the money that is spent on providing accommodation, transportation and on naming but a few.
In my perspective, it is beneficial for local people, a company and its workers. It is primarily because companies produce products for the getting profit, and expansion of their firm is another motto of the entrepreneurs. Society gets reliable products, and employment opportunities make it a better place to live in.
To conclude, Thus, it is clear that movement from one job to another is beneficial to get hospitable ambience, progress and keeping oneself updated. On the other hand, doing a job at the same place will make the person experienced and company progress by leaps and bounds by providing jobs in a local area and satisfying them by meeting their needs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Replace unnatural noun Original: a few masses Suggested revision: some people Why it matters: “Masses” does not naturally refer to a small group of people in this context.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: in their span of employment Suggested revision: throughout their working lives Why it matters: The revision expresses the time period idiomatically and precisely.
- 3. Name the job clearly Original: staying at the same place Suggested revision: staying in the same job Why it matters: The issue concerns retaining a job, while “place” could mean only a location.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: upcoming Suggested revision: following Why it matters: “Following paragraphs” is the conventional academic expression.
- 5. Fix number and phrasing Original: there are higher chances of getting a big sum of money as income Suggested revision: there is a greater chance of earning a higher salary Why it matters: The revision corrects the number agreement and expresses the idea naturally.
- 6. Fix verb pattern Original: will help them in getting Suggested revision: will help them afford Why it matters: “Help” is followed naturally by the bare infinitive, and “afford” fits the meaning.
- 7. Choose the correct noun Original: all the amenities Suggested revision: luxury goods Why it matters: Cars and bungalows are possessions rather than amenities in this context.
- 8. Use a countable expression Original: more mutual understanding Suggested revision: a greater degree of mutual understanding Why it matters: The revised quantifier fits the uncountable noun “understanding”.
- 9. Repair the list Original: skills like tolerance feeling of brotherhood and to name but a few Suggested revision: qualities such as tolerance and a sense of brotherhood Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing coordination and removes the incomplete list ending.
- 10. Use an idiomatic expression Original: satisfy one’s thirst for exploring life Suggested revision: satisfy one’s desire to explore life Why it matters: “Desire to explore” is a natural collocation for the intended meaning.
- 11. Correct the collocation Original: do plenty of services Suggested revision: provide many services Why it matters: Services are “provided”, not “done”.
- 12. Clarify the beneficiaries Original: making the life of community people convenient Suggested revision: making life more convenient for members of the community Why it matters: The revision uses a natural comparative structure and clearly identifies the beneficiaries.
Suggested Rewrites
- a few masses some people
- in their span of employment throughout their working lives
- staying at the same place staying in the same job
- upcoming following
- there are higher chances of getting a big sum of money as income there is a greater chance of earning a higher salary
- will help them in getting will help them afford
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents both perspectives and maintains a generally identifiable preference, with paragraphing that makes the broad structure easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several arguments drift from job continuity into local-company policy, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical fragments weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop directly relevant benefits for workers, employers, and society through clearly formed sentences and concrete causal explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and an opinion are presented, but support for staying in one job is partly tangential and unevenly developed.
Explain direct advantages of job continuity for employees, companies, and society, then connect every example explicitly to that view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression and appropriate paragraphing, although some internal links are mechanical or logically unclear.
Use clear topic sentences and causal links so each paragraph advances one central claim without drifting into loosely related points.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of vocabulary and some ambitious wording, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common combinations, replacing phrases such as “few masses” and “hospitable ambience” with precise job-related language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied and complex structures, but frequent fragments, article errors, and faulty sentence constructions weaken control.
Check that every sentence has a complete main clause and revise article, preposition, and coordination errors systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.