Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many are of the opinion that it is preferable for individuals, corporations and society more generally for workers to remain in the same position long-term. Although such a contention has transparent benefits, I am largely in disagreement.
Those who argue against employment mobility point out how it can facilitate consistent progress for all parties involved. Firstly, companies are the most likely to profit since they will not have to hire and train new employees and will be able to cultivate a positive company ethos. As companies flourish, it necessarily follows that individuals will be able to gain promotions and raises. This will enable a higher standard of living. Finally, society itself will benefit as the private and public world can achieve a balanced system of mutual benefits. There is then less likelihood of unemployment and civil unrest.
However, I would argue the opportunities that individuals may miss by not changing jobs are more significant. A worker who is unhappy in their job has the power to improve the situation. For instance, if a person is under-utilized and underpaid in their current position, they could apply for a new job or move to a new sector. If the move is successful, they will not regret their decision and if not they can always apply for another job. In the aggregate, citizens finding more satisfying jobs and taking full advantage of their latent abilities will lead to a happier society. This will in turn grow the economy and corporations are likely to be more productive with an engaged workforce.
In conclusion, the tangible impact of remaining in a single job does not outweigh the potential gain for individuals, and society by extension, when seeking a varied career path. There are exceptions to this but most workers should be willing to switch jobs when possible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: transparent Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: Clear benefits is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 2. Use precise reporting Original: point out how Suggested revision: argue that Why it matters: Argue that more directly introduces the opposing view.
- 3. Avoid absolute claim Original: it necessarily follows that Suggested revision: it may follow that Why it matters: May accurately presents promotions and raises as possible rather than inevitable outcomes.
- 4. Use standard term Original: world Suggested revision: sectors Why it matters: Sectors is the standard term for these two parts of society and the economy.
- 5. Make phrasing direct Original: has the power to improve the situation Suggested revision: can improve their situation Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and gives their a clear reference to the worker.
- 6. Use natural transition Original: In the aggregate Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall introduces the move from individual cases to the wider effect more naturally.
- 7. Add clause comma Original: There are exceptions to this but Suggested revision: There are exceptions to this, but Why it matters: A comma should separate the two independent clauses joined by but.
- 8. Clarify list boundary Original: corporations and society more generally Suggested revision: corporations, and society more generally Why it matters: The serial comma makes the three beneficiaries easier to distinguish.
- 9. Use standard time phrase Original: remain in the same position long-term Suggested revision: remain in the same position over the long term Why it matters: Over the long term is the conventional adverbial form in formal prose.
- 10. Sharpen abstract wording Original: consistent Suggested revision: stable Why it matters: Stable more clearly conveys the continuity produced by low employee turnover.
- 11. Clarify beneficiary claim Original: companies are the most likely to profit Suggested revision: companies are especially likely to benefit Why it matters: Benefit covers the stated savings and workplace culture more accurately than profit.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: However, I would argue the opportunities that individuals may miss by not changing jobs are more significant. Suggested revision: However, I would argue that the opportunities individuals may miss by staying in one job are more significant than these benefits. Why it matters: The rewrite adds the required that-clause and makes the comparison explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- transparent clear
- point out how argue that
- it necessarily follows that it may follow that
- world sectors
- has the power to improve the situation can improve their situation
- In the aggregate Overall
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a well-focused response with a clear position, balanced coverage of both views, and fluent progression from company-level effects to wider social outcomes. The main limitation is that some claims about social stability and mutual benefits are asserted rather broadly; the best improvement would be to support those points with a more specific causal explanation or concrete example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the opinion is consistent, and the main arguments are relevant and substantially developed.
Make the societal benefits of long-term employment more convincing with one specific example or a more detailed causal chain.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-managed paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the argument without attracting attention.
Tighten the transition from individual promotion to broad social stability so that every link in the reasoning is equally explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with only occasional wording that feels slightly abstract or overstated.
Replace broad phrases such as balanced system of mutual benefits with more concrete language tied directly to the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor punctuation or phrasing lapses.
Refine punctuation in longer coordinated sentences to make already accurate complex ideas even easier to process.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.