Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
Many are of the opinion that it is preferable for individuals, corporations, and society more generallycorporations and society more generally for workers to remain in the same position over the long termremain in the same position long-term. Although such a contention has cleartransparent benefits, I am largely in disagreement.
Those who argue against employment mobility argue thatpoint out how it can facilitate stableconsistent progress for all parties involved. Firstly, companies are especially likely to benefitcompanies are the most likely to profit since they will not have to hire and train new employees and will be able to cultivate a positive company ethos. As companies flourish, it may follow thatit necessarily follows that individuals will be able to gain promotions and raises. This will enable a higher standard of living. Finally, society itself will benefit as the private and public sectorsworld can achieve a balanced system of mutual benefits. There is then less likelihood of unemployment and civil unrest.
However, I would argue the opportunities that individuals may miss by not changing jobs are more significant. A worker who is unhappy in their job can improve their situationhas the power to improve the situation. For instance, if a person is under-utilized and underpaid in their current position, they could apply for a new job or move to a new sector. If the move is successful, they will not regret their decision and if not they can always apply for another job. OverallIn the aggregate, citizens finding more satisfying jobs and taking full advantage of their latent abilities will lead to a happier society. This will in turn grow the economy and corporations are likely to be more productive with an engaged workforce.
In conclusion, the tangible impact of remaining in a single job does not outweigh the potential gain for individuals, and society by extension, when seeking a varied career path. There are exceptions to this, butThere are exceptions to this but most workers should be willing to switch jobs when possible.
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a well-focused response with a clear position, balanced coverage of both views, and fluent progression from company-level effects to wider social outcomes. The main limitation is that some claims about social stability and mutual benefits are asserted rather broadly; the best improvement would be to support those points with a more specific causal explanation or concrete example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the opinion is consistent, and the main arguments are relevant and substantially developed.
Make the societal benefits of long-term employment more convincing with one specific example or a more detailed causal chain.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-managed paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the argument without attracting attention.
Tighten the transition from individual promotion to broad social stability so that every link in the reasoning is equally explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with only occasional wording that feels slightly abstract or overstated.
Replace broad phrases such as balanced system of mutual benefits with more concrete language tied directly to the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor punctuation or phrasing lapses.
Refine punctuation in longer coordinated sentences to make already accurate complex ideas even easier to process.