Children who grew up in poor families are more prepared for difficulties in life than children who grew up in a wealthy family. Do you agree or disagree.
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Sample Response
I do agree withto the statement that children brought up in poor families are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.
ChildrenChildien of poor parents are prematurely exposed to the problems of adult life, such aslife eg. learning to survive on a low family income and sacrificing luxuries for essentialessenhal items. These children beginbegn to see the realities of life in their home or social environment. Their parents'parent’s own struggles serve as an example to them.
These childrenchidren are taught necessary skills for survival as an adult from a very early age. Many children, for instance, workchildren eg work at weekendsin the weekends or holidays to either collect some pocket money or even contribute to their family income. A good example is the many children who accompany their parents to sell produce at the market. They are making a direct contribution to their families in terms of labour or income. Children of poor families are also highly motivated. They tend to set high goals to improve their economic and social situation. A relevant exampleRelevant example would be Mr. Bill Gates( founder of Microsoft Corporation). HeCorporation) He had an impoverished background, but he used his talent and motivation to set up the world’s largest software companycomputer organization.
However, there are some problems that children from poor backgrounds do encounter. Many of these children who are deprived“robbed” of their childhood by having to workchildhood eg while working, may feel cheated. They often turn to crime. This, however,This however, is a small group.
In summing up, children with impoverished backgrounds are able to deal with problems of adult life because of early exposure, family role models and sheer motivation.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear position agreeing with the prompt and supports it with relevant points such as early exposure to responsibility and strong motivation. However, the development is somewhat concise and contains a factually inaccurate example, alongside noticeable typos and occasional non-standard punctuation. To raise the writing quality, focus on fully developing main body arguments and proofreading carefully for basic spelling and formatting errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You take a clear side from the outset and address the prompt directly by outlining why poorer children might develop resilience.
Provide more fully elaborated explanations and ensure real-world examples are accurate and logically support your main claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized into clear structural units, though paragraphing is slightly fragmented and transitions rely on basic cohesive devices.
Group related ideas into broader, cohesive main body paragraphs instead of short two-sentence blocks to improve flow.
Lexical Resource
You use appropriate topic vocabulary relating to family background and motivation, but spelling errors and informal abbreviations appear throughout.
Avoid informal abbreviations like 'eg.' in formal writing and proofread to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, though minor grammatical slips and punctuation irregularities occur.
Focus on accurate punctuation and ensure complex sentences are properly structured without awkward pauses.