Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences?
Sample Response
Nowadays, junk food has emerged as the most preferred choice among children and teenagers, when we discuss the various eating options. There are a number of reasons whythat fast food is very popular among them, but this has led to serious negative effectsvery negative impacts on the health of the young ones.
One of the core reasons, which have immensely affected the fragile minds of the young ones, is advertisements. The visuals and presentation of junk food in advertisements are highly appealingare very attractive and appealing, soas children tend to choose junk foodopt for junk food over homemade food. Also, the fast-food outletsfast food chains are easily accessibleapproachable these days than in the pastas compared to earlier times. Another important reason is the lack of parental supervisionlack of parental control of children, due to their busy workoffice schedules these days. Parents often pamper their children by increasing their pocket money and full filling all their needs, which as a result make children to follow their own liking.
The habit of consuming increasing amounts of junk foodmore and more junk food can be very harmful to the healthdangerous for the health of the young ones, as the nutritional value of such food is much lower thanvery low in comparison to homemade food. The use of chemical preservatives in junk food may cause serious health problems. A survey foundIn a survey, it has been found that children who consume more junk foodchildren consuming more junk food are prone to obesity and have weak immune systemssystem, which is a serious issue.
In conclusion, junk food has become a convenient option for the young generation due to its wide availabilityits abundance and appealing advertisingfancy advertisement, but it has severe consequences foron the health of the young ones. So parents should take appropriate steps to make sure that their children opt for healthy options for a long and healthy lifefor prolong and healthy life ahead.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both questions clearly, with relevant causes and a coherent account of serious health consequences. Its strongest feature is the straightforward progression from advertising, availability, and parental influence to nutritional harm, while development remains somewhat general and language errors are noticeable. Improve by explaining the causal links more fully and using more natural, grammatically controlled phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and the seriousness of the consequences are addressed clearly with relevant supporting ideas.
Develop how each identified cause changes children's choices and substantiate the severity of the consequences more specifically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into causes and consequences, with clear paragraphing and generally effective progression.
Strengthen links between individual claims and avoid repetitive references such as the young ones.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several collocations and word forms are awkward or inaccurate.
Use more natural combinations for accessibility, parental supervision, advertising, and long-term health.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but agreement, article, clause-linking, and verb-pattern errors occur regularly.
Focus on subject-verb agreement and accurate verb patterns, especially after make and in relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.