Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In modern lifetoday's fast-paced world, parents are often faced with the questionplight of how to occupy their children's free time. Some people suggest that children should be encouraged to participate in group activities, while others believe that it is crucial for children to learn to occupy themselves independently. In this essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I support the idea that parents should encourage their children to participatepartake in organised group activities.
On the one hand, those who believe that children should learn to occupy themselves independently argue that it is an essential life skill that fosters creativity and imagination. Children who can entertain themselveswho have the ability to entertain themselves are less likely to become bored or reliant on external stimuliand are better equipped, and are better equipped to handle unstructured time. They can also develop a stronger sense of self and a more vividactive imagination. For instance, studies have shown that children who spend their free time reading and engaging in imaginative play show stronger cognitive developmenthave better cognitive development and are more successful in academic pursuits.
On the other hand, those who believe that children should participate in group activities argue that participatingit provides numerous benefits. Group activities can help children build important social skills, such as cooperation and teamwork. Children can also learn valuable life skills, such as leadership and communication, which can be beneficial later in life. Additionally, group activities can expose children to new interests and hobbies, which can broaden their horizons and provide them with a sense of purpose. For example, participating in a team sport can help children develop physical fitness, teamwork, and social skills.
In my opinion, parents need to encourage their children to participate in organised group activities because they provide substantial benefitsnumerous outstanding benefits that can help children develop important skills and discover new interestsdevelop important skills and interests. Encouraging children to participate in team activities can also promote socialisation and help children build positive relationships with their peers.
In conclusion, while it may be beneficial for children to sometimes occupy themselves independently, I believe that parents should encourage their children to participate in organised group activities. These activities can provide children with valuable life skills, promote socialisation, and broaden their horizons.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both perspectives and maintains a clear preference, with logically sequenced paragraphs and consistently controlled sentence structures. Its main limitation is that several supporting points and examples remain broad or repeat similar benefits, while a few word choices sound overstated or unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two examples with more specific reasoning and use more precise, less repetitive vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed, the writer's preference is clear throughout, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation and examples.
Deepen the support by explaining one concrete example in greater detail instead of repeating broad benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the discussion without obscuring relationships.
Reduce formulaic signposting and repeated sentence openings to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad, topic-appropriate vocabulary with generally precise control, despite a few awkward or overstated combinations.
Replace expressions such as 'the plight of how' and 'numerous outstanding benefits' with more natural, exact phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, with only occasional non-impeding agreement or reference slips.
Check pronoun agreement and reference carefully, particularly where plural subjects such as group activities are followed by singular forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.