It is suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Some people believe that children should learn how to grow vegetables and raise animals in primary school. I believe this is an absolutelyabsolute necessary life skill that all children must learn, and that there are essentially no significant disadvantages to this proposalno negative sides to this argument.
FirstFirstly, alongside sunlight and water, food is one of the necessities of lifebasic necessities of life. Without these three things, human beings cannot survive, so it only serves to reason that it is highly important for children to learn how to provide the necessities of life for themselvesprovide themselves with the necessities of life. The current state of the world proves that globalisation only causes more problems than it solves, and therefore people must return to living in smaller, community-based societies where they are responsible for sustaining themselves, which means growing their own food. In many poorer, developing nations, this is still the case; however, itthis is still the case, however it is rapidly changing. Teaching people, especially children, how to grow their own food is the first steptheir own food, is the first step back towards sustainable living.
Furthermore, learning how to grow theiryour own food not only provides people with a sense of independence and freedom, but also helps them to connect with nature, which is one of the most effective stress relieving activities for people of any age. By learning how to grow food, children can learn about nature and developchildren can learn about nature and will have a closer connection to and better awareness of the food they eata closer connection and better awareness of the food they eat. This awareness will, in turn, help themIn turn, this will help them to make smarter dietary choices by avoidingsmarter dietary choices, by avoiding genetically modified and foods grown using chemicalschemically grown foods that negatively impact their health, and therefore help create healthier societiescreate societies of healthier people, which will have wide-ranging benefitscountless positive outcomes.
In conclusion, while some people may believe that there are more important subjects to learn at school, I believe that learning to grow vegetables and raise animals is one of the most important and practical life skills that people of all ages should have.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized and uses a confident range of language to explain several benefits, particularly self-sufficiency, connection with nature, and healthier choices. The main limitation is incomplete task coverage: animal care is barely developed and possible disadvantages are asserted away rather than weighed against the benefits. The highest priority is to compare at least one realistic drawback with the advantages and address both proposed activities directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear position and develops several advantages, but it gives little attention to animal care or a meaningful comparison with disadvantages.
Address both growing vegetables and keeping animals, then weigh a realistic drawback against the stated benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in clear paragraphs and progress logically, with cohesive devices used effectively despite occasional overextended sentences.
Make the comparison more explicit by linking each advantage to the specific disadvantage it outweighs.
Lexical Resource
A varied and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, though a few word forms and collocations are inaccurate or overstated.
Refine expressions such as absolutely necessary and stress-relieving, and avoid absolute claims unless they are fully supported.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, while occasional agreement, punctuation, and form errors remain.
Proofread long sentences for comma placement, agreement, and consistent pronoun reference.