Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Sample Response
Parents throughout the world spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.
A fundamental reason for this is that there is no biological age for reading, and pushing infants to acquire this skill before they are ready could have repercussions. For example, in the UK, many boys are reluctant readers, possibly because of being forced to read, and this turned them off reading. By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly.
In addition, the importance of encouraging creativity and developing a child’s imagination must be acknowledged. Through play, youngsters develop social and cognitive skills, for example, they are more likely to learn vocabulary through context rather than learning it from a book. Furthermore, play allows youngsters to mature emotionally, and gain self-confidence.
There is no scientific research which suggests reading at a young age is essential for a child’s development, moreover, evidence suggests the reverse is true. In Finland, early years’ education focuses on playing. Reading is only encouraged if a child shows an interest in developing this skill.
This self-directed approach certainly does not result in Finnish school leavers falling behind their foreign counterparts. In fact, Finland was ranked the sixth best in the world in terms of reading.
Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I am not vehemently opposed to it and I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child’s daily routine. However, reading as a regular day time activity should be swapped for something which allows a child to develop other skills.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Mark nonessential clause Original: school where their literacy skills Suggested revision: school, where their literacy skills Why it matters: The comma marks the following clause as extra information about school rather than identifying a particular school.
- 2. Use concise possession Original: benefits of it Suggested revision: its benefits Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural in this sentence.
- 3. Clarify the concept Original: no biological age for reading Suggested revision: no single biologically appropriate age for learning to read Why it matters: The revision makes the intended claim about developmental readiness more precise.
- 4. State the subject clearly Original: because of being forced to read Suggested revision: because they were forced to read Why it matters: An explicit subject makes the cause clearer and avoids the awkward passive gerund phrase.
- 5. Align tense and connection Original: and this turned them off reading Suggested revision: which may have put them off reading Why it matters: The revision links the possible consequence to the preceding cause while maintaining appropriate uncertainty.
- 6. Fix comma splice Original: , for example, they are more likely Suggested revision: ; for example, they are more likely Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses.
- 7. Remove unnecessary comma Original: emotionally, and gain self-confidence Suggested revision: emotionally and gain self-confidence Why it matters: The two coordinated verb phrases do not require a comma before the conjunction.
- 8. Fix comma splice Original: development, moreover, evidence Suggested revision: development; moreover, evidence Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before the conjunctive adverb joining two independent clauses.
- 9. Express ranking concisely Original: the sixth best in the world in terms of reading Suggested revision: sixth in the world for reading Why it matters: The revision states the ordinal ranking directly and removes redundant wording.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly. Suggested revision: By focusing first on activities that develop creativity and imagination, children may acquire reading skills rapidly when they are ready. Why it matters: The rewrite identifies the subject promptly and places the readiness clause beside the reading outcome it modifies.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I am not vehemently opposed to it and I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child’s daily routine. Suggested revision: Although I support this play-based approach, I do not oppose reading altogether, and I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child’s daily routine. Why it matters: The rewrite resolves the contradiction created by saying the writer supports an approach but is not opposed to that same approach.
Suggested Rewrites
- school where their literacy skills school, where their literacy skills
- benefits of it its benefits
- no biological age for reading no single biologically appropriate age for learning to read
- because of being forced to read because they were forced to read
- and this turned them off reading which may have put them off reading
- , for example, they are more likely ; for example, they are more likely
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and supports it with varied reasons and relevant examples, using an impressively broad vocabulary. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted more strongly than the evidence warrants, and some paragraph divisions and comma-linked clauses weaken the flow. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the evidence more cautiously while integrating closely related points into fuller, grammatically cleaner paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, sustains a clear position, and develops several relevant reasons with examples.
Qualify broad claims about research and explain the Finnish example more fully so that the evidence supports the conclusion convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly, but closely related points are sometimes separated into short paragraphs and a few links are loosely punctuated.
Combine the connected Finland paragraphs and use complete sentence boundaries to make progression smoother.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and generally precise, with effective language for education, development, and comparative argument.
Refine occasional awkward choices such as “biological age for reading” and “day time activity” for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, although several comma splices and a minor tense inconsistency remain.
Separate independent clauses around expressions such as “for example” and “moreover,” and maintain consistent tense when describing general tendencies.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.