Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Sample Response
Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.
A fundamental reason for this is that there is no biological age for reading, and pushing infants to acquire this skill before they are ready could have repercussions. For example, in the UK, many boys are reluctant readers, possibly because of being forced to read, and this turned them off reading. By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly.
In addition, the importance of encouraging creativity and developing a child’s imagination must be acknowledged. Through play, youngsters develop social and cognitive skills, for example, they are more likely to learn vocabulary through context rather than learning it from a book.
Furthermore, play allows youngsters to mature emotionally, and gain self-confidence. There is no scientific research which suggests reading at a young age is essential for a child’s development, moreover, evidence suggests the reverse is true. In Finland, early years’ education focuses on playing.
Reading is only encouraged if a child shows an interest in developing this skill. This self-directed approach certainly does not result in Finnish school leavers falling behind their foreign counterparts. In fact, Finland was ranked the sixth-best in the world in terms of reading.
Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child’s daily routine. However, reading as a regular daytime activity should be swapped for something which allows the child to develop other skills.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Delete the stray verb Original: place spend time Suggested revision: spend time Why it matters: ‘Place’ is an accidental extra verb that makes the clause ungrammatical.
- 2. Mark the relative clause Original: school where Suggested revision: school, where Why it matters: The comma clearly marks ‘where their literacy skills are further developed’ as supplementary information.
- 3. Use a concise possessive Original: the benefits of it Suggested revision: its benefits Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural.
- 4. Clarify the concept Original: no biological age for reading Suggested revision: no fixed biological age for learning to read Why it matters: The revision states more precisely that readiness does not occur at one biologically fixed age.
- 5. Name the clause subject Original: possibly because of being forced to read Suggested revision: possibly because they were forced to read Why it matters: An explicit subject makes the cause clearer and avoids the awkward passive gerund phrase.
- 6. Keep tense consistent Original: this turned them off reading Suggested revision: this has turned them off reading Why it matters: The present perfect matches the preceding present description of the boys as reluctant readers.
- 7. Fix the comma splice Original: skills, for example, they Suggested revision: skills; for example, they Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses.
- 8. Remove the unnecessary comma Original: emotionally, and gain Suggested revision: emotionally and gain Why it matters: No comma is needed between two verbs sharing the same subject.
- 9. Separate independent clauses Original: development, moreover, evidence Suggested revision: development; moreover, evidence Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before the conjunctive adverb joining two independent clauses.
- 10. Use natural ranking language Original: ranked the sixth-best in the world Suggested revision: ranked sixth in the world Why it matters: Ordinal ranking is expressed more directly with ‘ranked sixth’.
- 11. Use a precise referent Original: something which allows Suggested revision: an activity that allows Why it matters: ‘An activity’ identifies the proposed replacement more precisely than ‘something’.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly. Suggested revision: When children focus first on other activities and develop skills such as creativity and imagination, they usually learn to read rapidly once they are ready. Why it matters: The rewrite supplies a clear subject for the opening actions and places the time clauses logically.
Suggested Rewrites
- place spend time spend time
- school where school, where
- the benefits of it its benefits
- no biological age for reading no fixed biological age for learning to read
- possibly because of being forced to read possibly because they were forced to read
- this turned them off reading this has turned them off reading
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, nuanced position and develops it through logically sequenced reasons and relevant examples, using a broad and precise vocabulary. Its main limitation is that a few claims are asserted too categorically and several sentence-boundary or wording slips interrupt an otherwise polished performance; the highest-priority improvement is to substantiate the comparison with reading more carefully while tightening punctuation in complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the benefits of play are well developed with relevant examples and a suitably qualified conclusion.
Support categorical claims about research more cautiously and compare play with reading more explicitly at each major point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through distinct, logically ordered ideas, with effective referencing and cohesive control.
Combine the two short Finland-related paragraphs or strengthen their link so that the example reads as one fully integrated unit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise lexical range conveys nuanced ideas naturally, with only isolated awkward wording.
Remove slips such as place spend and choose more exact phrasing when describing readiness to learn to read.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately overall, although a few comma splices and local errors remain.
Separate independent clauses correctly and check tense consistency when moving between general claims and past examples.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.