In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
As is commonly understood in the big cities people need to pay some money when they are driving a car to reach the centre of the city. This has the purpose of reducing the total of cars which operated around the city. It is believed that a policy of reducing the number of cars will bring positive and negative impact for all the people. Personally, I will explain my perspective by giving supporting and opposing reason.
Firstly, as we know that the number of the car in the city bring many advantages. If the cities applied a policy or rule about driving cars, some of the problems such as air pollution as well as traffic jam automatically reduced. At the same time, the policy will help the government in developing the percentage of public transportation used by the people. As a result industry of public transportation growing rapidly. Take Tokyo for instance, Tokyo applied a policy if the people bring their own car to the city centre. Caused by this policy, Tokyo grew significantly to become the smartest city with the lowest percentage of air pollution and traffic jam, development of public transportation reveals a sophisticated trend. From this example, we can see that policy bring advantages to a city, even in the development of the city itself and public transportation business.
On the other hand, the role by applied fee brings disadvantages for a city. In some countries this policy impact on the automotive industry. The trend of people to buy a car significantly decreased, as a result income and development of business automotive shows bad trend day by day. This case happens in South Africa when people must pay or take some role to drive their cars to the city centre. There are 65% of the total of the people who lived in Cape Town decided not to buy cars. Because most of them think that buy a car is useless. From this case, many automotive industries have collapsed and effect on the market and the economic development in South Africa.
In conclusion, the policy is important to be applied in a city related to bringing a car. However, the policy must be considered the advantages and disadvantages. The government and the public sector, as well as business sectors in the transportation business, need to collaborate together, make arrangement and right policy who will bring good advantages to all sector. In this case government, people and businessman.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing comma Original: in the big cities people need Suggested revision: in big cities, people need Why it matters: Add a comma after the introductory phrase and remove the unnecessary article.
- 2. Informal phrase Original: pay some money Suggested revision: pay a fee Why it matters: Use the task’s precise phrase.
- 3. Verb form Original: total of cars which operated Suggested revision: number of cars operating Why it matters: Use number of cars and a participle form.
- 4. Plural noun Original: positive and negative impact Suggested revision: positive and negative impacts Why it matters: Use plural impacts after two types.
- 5. Plural form Original: supporting and opposing reason Suggested revision: supporting and opposing reasons Why it matters: Use the plural noun because more than one reason is expected.
- 6. Plural noun Original: the number of the car Suggested revision: the number of cars Why it matters: Use plural cars when speaking generally.
- 7. Agreement error Original: bring many advantages Suggested revision: brings many advantages Why it matters: The subject number is singular, but the meaning of this sentence should also be reconsidered.
- 8. Missing auxiliary Original: automatically reduced Suggested revision: would automatically be reduced Why it matters: The passive verb phrase needs be.
- 9. Missing verb Original: industry of public transportation growing Suggested revision: the public transportation industry will grow Why it matters: The clause needs a finite verb and natural word order.
- 10. Wrong connector Original: if the people bring Suggested revision: when people brought Why it matters: The sentence needs when, not if, and past tense for the example.
- 11. Awkward linker Original: Caused by this policy Suggested revision: As a result of this policy Why it matters: Use a standard cause-effect linker.
- 12. Agreement error Original: policy bring advantages Suggested revision: policy brings advantages Why it matters: The singular subject policy takes brings.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the big cities people need in big cities, people need
- pay some money pay a fee
- total of cars which operated number of cars operating
- positive and negative impact positive and negative impacts
- supporting and opposing reason supporting and opposing reasons
- the number of the car the number of cars
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives reasons for and against congestion fees and states that the policy is important but should be carefully designed. The main ideas are relevant, though some examples appear unsupported or exaggerated and the final opinion is not fully clear.
State whether you support the fee overall, then explain what conditions would make it fair, such as better public transport or exemptions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a recognisable structure: introduction, support, opposition, conclusion. However, progression within paragraphs is weakened by unclear links, run-on sentences, and repeated references to policy without clear cause-effect explanation.
Use one clear topic sentence per body paragraph and make each example directly prove the supporting or opposing reason.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, including public transportation, air pollution, traffic jam, automotive industry, and economic development. Many word choices are inaccurate, such as role for rule, business automotive, and take some role.
Review transport-policy vocabulary: congestion charge, city centre, traffic congestion, public transport use, car ownership, and automotive industry.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, plural nouns, verb tense, agreement, and sentence boundaries reduce control. Meaning is generally understandable, but many sentences require rereading.
Write shorter sentences and check every noun phrase for singular/plural agreement and every verb for tense.