More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
Sample Response
Cities offer many conveniences and opportunities that are not present in rural areas, but they do not come without a cost. Higher living expenses, pollution, lax relationships among people and frantic competition often make cities difficult to live in. The government has a lot to do to improve the lifestyle of the city dwellers.
The overwhelming expense is the main problem for anyone who moves to a city from a small town or village. The cost of education, treatment, transportation, house rent, food and daily commodities are far higher in a city which makes life unbearable for the lower and lower-middle-class populace. Pollution in cities is the second most severe issue, and it makes metropolitan areas less suitable for children to grow in. For instance, people in big cities live in contaminated areas where Carbon dioxide emissions and the presence of other toxic elements in the air are higher.
Moreover, municipal life is full of competition, and it makes people’s lives miserable. Someone has to compete to get in a public car, wait for his turn to meet the doctor, wait several hours in the traffic jam and fight hard to get a decent job. The competition is so high that even a child has to go through a tough fight to be accepted into a school.
I believe there are many steps that a government can take to tackle these issues. Firstly, the government should control the prices of daily commodities and build more high-rise buildings to reduce house rent. More public buses with better facilities should be introduced to reduce traffic jams. Decentralisation and the development of the provincial towns would let the authorities shift many industries to these regions and thus reduce the pollution and pressure on the cities and metropolitan areas.
In conclusion, the government should take initiatives to improve people's living standards in cities and make sure rural areas and towns have plenty of job opportunities to reduce the pressure on big cities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural expression Original: lax relationships among people Suggested revision: weak social ties Why it matters: Weak social ties is the natural phrase for limited interpersonal connection.
- 2. Choose precise adjective Original: frantic Suggested revision: intense Why it matters: Intense describes the degree of competition more naturally than frantic.
- 3. Clarify the subject Original: make cities difficult to live in Suggested revision: make city life difficult Why it matters: City life, rather than cities themselves, is the experience being described as difficult.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: has a lot to do Suggested revision: must do much more Why it matters: The revision expresses the government's responsibility more formally and clearly.
- 5. Use accurate expression Original: lifestyle of the city dwellers Suggested revision: quality of life of city dwellers Why it matters: Quality of life refers to residents' living conditions, whereas lifestyle refers to personal habits.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: The overwhelming expense Suggested revision: The high cost of living Why it matters: High cost of living is the standard phrase for expensive urban necessities.
- 7. Avoid unsupported ranking Original: the second most severe issue Suggested revision: another serious issue Why it matters: Another serious issue introduces pollution without asserting an unexplained ranking.
- 8. Complete phrasal verb Original: children to grow in Suggested revision: children to grow up in Why it matters: Grow up is the required phrasal verb for children's development into adulthood.
- 9. Use natural term Original: municipal Suggested revision: urban Why it matters: Urban life naturally describes living in a city, while municipal relates to local government.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: high Suggested revision: intense Why it matters: Competition is intense rather than high in this context.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: go through a tough fight Suggested revision: compete fiercely Why it matters: Compete fiercely conveys the intended struggle naturally and directly.
- 12. Use formal admission term Original: accepted into a school Suggested revision: admitted to a school Why it matters: Admitted to is the standard expression for school entry.
Suggested Rewrites
- lax relationships among people weak social ties
- frantic intense
- make cities difficult to live in make city life difficult
- has a lot to do must do much more
- lifestyle of the city dwellers quality of life of city dwellers
- The overwhelming expense The high cost of living
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers both parts of the task with a clear structure, several relevant urban problems, and practical government measures. Its main limitation is uneven precision: some solutions are only briefly justified and several vocabulary choices sound unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to explain how each proposed policy would solve a named problem while replacing strained collocations with more idiomatic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses urban difficulties and government responses with relevant ideas, though some proposed solutions receive limited explanation.
Link each recommendation to a specific problem and explain its likely effect in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear problem-to-solution progression with appropriate paragraphing, although some internal development is list-like.
Group each problem with its explanation more tightly and use transitions that show causal relationships rather than simply adding points.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but awkward collocations such as "lax relationships," "public car," and "tough fight" reduce precision.
Prefer natural topic-specific expressions such as "weak social ties," "public transport," and "intense competition."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a good variety of complex sentences, with occasional agreement, article, and preposition errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread long sentences for subject-verb agreement and article or preposition choices, especially in lists and relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.