Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
As the effects of climate change are getting more significant, many think businesses will collapse, while others predict that they will flourish. I believe that whether a business would do well depends on its target market.
It is undeniable that many businesses will face challenges as climate change proceeds. Firstly, those that involve or exploit natural resources will be the first to face the consequences of climate change. For example, the entire agriculture industry will most definitely suffer from constant natural disasters, while mines and oil drills worldwide deal with resource depletion. Secondly, transportation businesses will be challenged with multiple hardships. Natural disasters, like earthquakes, flooding, or heavy storms, will cause various road blockages, delaying the transportation of both goods and people.
However, stating that all businesses will collapse is a pure exaggeration since many will flourish during these times. Firstly, those that promote sustainability can expand their market. This growth is because as climate change takes effect, humans will gradually have to change their consumption behaviors. These are businesses that sell products like reusable water bottles, portable wooden utensils packs, or biodegradable cosmetics. Secondly, I believe tech companies that research alternatives to fossil fuels will become the top players. For example, Tesla is now doing extremely well with its electric cars. In Vietnam, the VinGroup corporation can also collect more profits from its electric scooter products.
In conclusion, there is a collapse of major businesses when climate change hits. However, those that focus on promoting environmentally friendly products will experience significant growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise description Original: getting more significant Suggested revision: becoming more severe Why it matters: Effects of climate change are more naturally described as becoming 'severe.'
- 2. Keep future tense Original: would do well Suggested revision: will succeed Why it matters: The future form matches the predictions discussed in the surrounding sentences.
- 3. Choose natural verb Original: proceeds Suggested revision: intensifies Why it matters: 'Intensifies' describes worsening climate change more precisely than 'proceeds.'
- 4. Clarify business relationship Original: those that involve or exploit natural resources Suggested revision: businesses that depend on or exploit natural resources Why it matters: Businesses can depend on resources, whereas saying they 'involve' resources is unclear.
- 5. Avoid overstatement Original: constant Suggested revision: frequent Why it matters: 'Frequent' conveys repeated events without implying that they never stop.
- 6. Use standard term Original: transportation businesses Suggested revision: transport companies Why it matters: 'Transport companies' is the more natural term for businesses moving goods or people.
- 7. Improve collocation Original: challenged with multiple hardships Suggested revision: face multiple challenges Why it matters: The standard collocation is to 'face challenges.'
- 8. Use precise term Original: various road blockages Suggested revision: road closures Why it matters: 'Road closures' directly describes roads made unavailable by severe weather or disasters.
- 9. Correct article phrase Original: a pure exaggeration Suggested revision: an exaggeration Why it matters: 'Exaggeration' takes 'an,' and 'pure' is unnecessary here.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: during these times Suggested revision: under these conditions Why it matters: This wording refers more precisely to the climate-related circumstances.
- 11. Fix noun order Original: portable wooden utensils packs Suggested revision: portable packs of wooden utensils Why it matters: The revised noun phrase places the head noun and modifying phrase in a natural order.
- 12. Correct profit collocation Original: collect more profits Suggested revision: generate higher profits Why it matters: Businesses 'generate' or 'earn' profits rather than 'collect' them.
Suggested Rewrites
- getting more significant becoming more severe
- would do well will succeed
- proceeds intensifies
- those that involve or exploit natural resources businesses that depend on or exploit natural resources
- constant frequent
- transportation businesses transport companies
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay is strongest in its clear two-sided structure, relevant business examples, and controlled, varied language. Its central limitation is task focus: much of the negative case concerns damage caused by climate change itself rather than the effects of climate-related reforms, and the conclusion only partly preserves the qualified opinion. The priority is to analyse specific reforms consistently and state exactly which businesses gain or lose from them.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives and a qualified opinion are developed with relevant examples, but the negative discussion often shifts from climate reforms to climate change itself.
Frame every main idea around a specific reform, such as emissions rules or green incentives, and explain its direct commercial effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through a balanced introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively despite some mechanical sequencing.
Replace some repeated Firstly and Secondly signposting with more natural logical links between causes, examples, and consequences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and generally precise business and environmental vocabulary, with only occasional awkward combinations such as collect more profits.
Refine less natural collocations and choose more exact terms for resource extraction, market expansion, and business profitability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied and mostly well controlled, with occasional article, reference, and phrasing errors that do not impede meaning.
Polish article use and noun-phrase construction, especially in expressions such as the agriculture industry and wooden utensil packs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.