We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Sample Response
NowadaysFrom now on we no longer need to keep animalsdo not have to have animals held in zoos, so zoos ought to be closed. I disagree with closing zoosIn my opinion, I do not agree that zoos should be closed.
FirstFirs of all, many animals are at risk of extinctionanimals are in danger of extinction. For instance, according to the CNN news, which I have recently read on a website, ıf hunting elephants do not decrease, elephants can be extinct in fifty years period. Therefore, we should keep elephantswe should elephants keep in zoos to ensure their reproductionreproduction of them.
Second, many people grow up in the city, and live in town whole they life, so they could not see any wild animals or animals that live in a specific area, but if your town has a zoo, you can meet them in there. Forfor example, when Iı travelled to Gaziantep, a city that iswhich city is in the south-east of Turkey, I visited a zoo. Iı saw many animalsa lot of animals. For the first time in my life is observed bears, elephants, lions, tigers and many wild animals that they do not live in Turkey. Ifİf the zoo did not exist, maybe ı could not see any of them whole my life. On the other hand, some of the countries have zoos that are in bad condition. Many animals are suffering from starvation in there. Some of them have died because of it. If a country could not afford zoo's expenditure, it should close the zoo since any of reason is not more significant than animals' life.
In conclusion, in my opinion, zoos should not be closed. It is useful for animals' futureuseful for animals future. Moreover, it is beneficial for children learning about animals and animal lifebeneficial to children for learning animals and animals life. I would argue that we should retain zoosI would argue that we need to have zoos, especially for the future of animalsespecially for animals future.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a consistent opposition to closing zoos and supports it with relevant ideas about conservation and public education, while sensibly acknowledging that poorly funded zoos may need to close. Its main limitation is frequent language error and uneven organisation, especially where the long second body paragraph mixes visitor experience with animal welfare. The highest-priority improvement is to develop conservation and education in separate paragraphs using shorter, accurately constructed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by relevant conservation and educational arguments, though some ideas and examples are repetitive or only partly developed.
Explain how responsible zoos support breeding and education, then distinguish them clearly from facilities that fail welfare standards.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an identifiable introduction, supporting ideas, and conclusion, but one oversized paragraph combines different arguments and weakens progression.
Use separate paragraphs for conservation, educational access, and the qualification concerning badly managed zoos.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the topic, but frequent repetition, spelling problems, and inaccurate word combinations limit precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'at risk of extinction', 'reduce elephant hunting', 'support breeding programmes', 'animal welfare', and 'operating costs'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in word order, agreement, articles, pronouns, conditionals, and sentence formation cause strain.
Prioritise accurate simple patterns such as 'we should keep elephants in zoos', 'people may never see wild animals', and 'animals' futures'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.