It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
Student accommodation wields direct influences in their life and academic performance. I uphold the conviction that it is more necessary for student life to be spent a long distance from their parents.
Life on campus may be more advantageous for university students. It is undeniable that inwith the absence of parental care, students seem to have a chance to take almost full responsibilityshoulder almost all the blame for their daily livestheir private life, ranging from doing household chores managing their personal financesto manage personal finance, thereby developing essential life skillsmeticulously preparing certain life skills for their later life. Additionally, thanks to their shared accommodation, students might learn how to live and work in harmony with others, improving their social skillsgiving rise to improvements in social skills. Finally, students can achieve better academic outcomesaccomplish higher academic outcomes throughby dint of mutual aid and support from friends throughby sharing learning materials or developing proper study strategies for each other, facilitating their studiesstudy while sharing a roomwhen sharing the room.
However, although living with parents during student life may bring several benefits ranging from parental care to a feeling of safetyto feeling of safety, this lifestyle can be more detrimental. In fact, commuting from home to university dailycommuting to universities from home daily may deprive manyvarious students of a considerable amount of timea remarkable time which should have been allocated to participatingallocated for for participating in recreational and extracurricular activities or sports events with a view to enhancing their physical health and developingdevelop their teamwork skills or communication competences. This physical stamina and these soft skills are prerequisites for paving the way for academic as well as professional success. In other words, were it not for these soft skills which appear easier to developwhich appear easier to be developed while living independentlyin a self-reliant life, students would be at a disadvantage in the process of accumulating academic knowledge and professional qualifications for future employment.
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned explanations, it seems to me that enjoying campus life far from their parents is a more sensible decision than living under the same roof with their parents.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear position and offers a substantial range of relevant reasons for living away from home, with logical paragraph-level progression. Its impact is reduced by overextended reasoning and frequent unnatural word combinations, while several ambitious sentences contain grammatical faults. The priority is to express fewer claims more precisely, using natural collocations and cleaner sentence structures to make the argument more persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained and supported with several relevant benefits of independent campus life.
Develop the strongest reasons with concrete explanation and avoid claims that depend on broad assumptions about commuting or independence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a clear progression, although some long sentences carry too many loosely connected points.
Divide dense chains of reasoning into shorter units and make each paragraph revolve around one fully developed central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates broad vocabulary, but frequent strained collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as shoulder the blame for private life and remarkable time with accurate, conventional wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but errors in agreement, parallelism, articles, and sentence construction recur.
Prioritise accurate clause control and parallel forms, especially when writing long sentences with infinitives, relative clauses, or conditionals.