It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There can be several factors based on which college students can be segregated, one of which is the preference of residence during higher education. Students often have to choose between living with their family or living by themselves in a hostel or as a paying guest during their time at a university before seeking admission. It is often concluded that spending time apart from one’s family during college is the more suitable option for students. I am a strong supporter of this notion and I will support my views with relevant instances in the following essay.
First and foremost, the greatest benefit in travelling and residing in a place different from one’s home town or city for education is the ability to choose from an array of reputed academic institutes. It is important to have all options open for students who are at the stage of deciding which university to apply to for higher education. This advantage is not enjoyed by individuals who are obligated to remain with their families during college as their choices are extremely limited.
Additionally, this particular phase is a crucial time in a student’s life as it is during this period that a person is supposed to understand the value of being responsible for themselves. Thus, when a young individual is presented with the responsibility of taking care of themselves along with tackling a rigorous university routine, they are bound to become more sensible and capable human beings. Moreover, when college students are deprived of the luxury of staying with their parents, they are required to develop vital life skills which will prove beneficial in the future.
Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to this popular notion as well which make it an unfeasible option for many individuals. The monetary expenses, especially the cost of living in a foreign place is what makes it a difficult choice for many underprivileged households. That being said, financial restrictions can also be a source of important life experiences as many students are known to work along with pursuing a university degree to support themselves financially.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the choice of where to reside during college is a highly personal decision and is influenced by a diverse set of factors. However, the merits of living by yourself and taking up responsibilities make it a fairly practical choice.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose a neutral verb Original: segregated Suggested revision: categorized Why it matters: Segregated implies enforced separation and does not fit a neutral classification of students.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: preference Suggested revision: choice Why it matters: Choice of residence is the more natural expression for deciding where to live.
- 3. Fix the timeline Original: before seeking admission Suggested revision: after gaining admission Why it matters: The original timing contradicts the claim that this living arrangement occurs during university study.
- 4. Keep number consistent Original: support my views Suggested revision: support this view Why it matters: The essay states one position, so the singular form maintains consistency.
- 5. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Benefit takes of when followed by a gerund phrase describing the benefit.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: reputed academic institutes Suggested revision: reputable academic institutions Why it matters: Reputable and institutions are the more natural formal choices in this context.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: have all options open for students Suggested revision: keep all options open to students Why it matters: Keep options open to someone is the standard collocation.
- 8. Improve the structure Original: along with tackling Suggested revision: while also managing Why it matters: This revision coordinates the two simultaneous responsibilities more smoothly.
- 9. Separate the relative clause Original: as well which Suggested revision: as well, which Why it matters: A comma is needed before the non-defining relative clause.
- 10. Use a natural term Original: restrictions Suggested revision: constraints Why it matters: Financial constraints is the conventional phrase for limits caused by insufficient money.
- 11. Clarify simultaneous actions Original: work along with pursuing Suggested revision: work while pursuing Why it matters: While clearly links employment and study as simultaneous activities.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The monetary expenses, especially the cost of living in a foreign place is what makes it a difficult choice for many underprivileged households. Suggested revision: The expense, especially the cost of living away from home, makes this a difficult choice for many low-income households. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes subject-verb agreement and removes the awkward expressions foreign place and monetary expenses.
Suggested Rewrites
- segregated categorized
- preference choice
- before seeking admission after gaining admission
- support my views support this view
- in of
- reputed academic institutes reputable academic institutions
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops several relevant advantages, especially wider educational choice and greater independence, in a well-organised progression. Its main limitation is a tendency toward inflated or imprecise phrasing, while the counterargument is handled more briefly than the supporting case. The highest-priority improvement is to express ideas more naturally and support the financial drawback and rebuttal with a sharper, concrete explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant, well-developed advantages plus a considered financial drawback.
Strengthen the counterargument by explaining the financial issue and its rebuttal with a more concrete illustration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices make the argument easy to follow.
Reduce reliance on overt signposts and create smoother links through the logical development of adjacent sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a wide academic vocabulary, though some inflated or imprecise choices make the expression less natural.
Prefer direct, idiomatic wording over formal-sounding choices such as language about segregating students or foreign places.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is handled well, with most sentences accurate and errors rarely affecting clarity.
Check agreement and modifier placement carefully, especially in long sentences containing embedded phrases and clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.