Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, as a result of economic growth, the incomes of people are increasing and they start to consume more goods than the past. However, some people get to be in debt because of buying goods, which they do not actually need and could not pay. In my opinion, it is very important to prevent people from getting trapped in this problem. In the first place, there are several reasons for this behaviour. One of the most important catalysts is the psychological problem. For instance, when some people are upset and disappointed, they tend to go shopping and buy everything they want. In this situation, because of their loose of control, they could not consider the things whether they need or not. Equally important, another reason is their temporary desire. To specify, at some moments, people always have the ambition to possess something, which is not normally necessary for them and out of their financial situation. Therefore, they will make a purchasing decision without assessing the benefits and drawbacks. Credit cards, purchase cards, gift cards etc. are more available nowadays and having a credit card from a band is easier than ever before. These shorts of cards and loans allure people to purchase more luxury items they can live without. While repaying, people get trapped and the high-interest rates increase the loan amount significantly. Admittedly, this behaviour could bring people into a very dangerous situation. Hence, the government, as well as the community, should take place some solutions to deal with it. Firstly, every store or shopping centre should control their customer purchasing by checking their financial status. As a consequence, it will restrict people in buying the items, which they cannot afford. Moreover, we should organise some psychological course for people, who have problems with shopping. Lastly, the sale staffs of shops should advise and give a good recommendation to their, which enable them to have the best choice. Banks should be more rigid while approving the credit card to a person and the credit limit should be within the affordable amount by the card holder. In summary, to avoid getting into debt, everyone should consider both advantages and disadvantages of the products before buying it. Someone should not simply purchase a product because of pure luxury or pride. The repayment should also be considered at the time of purchasing.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise possession Original: the incomes of people Suggested revision: people's incomes Why it matters: The possessive form expresses the relationship more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Keep tense consistent Original: are increasing and they start Suggested revision: are increasing, and they are starting Why it matters: The two linked ongoing trends require parallel present-progressive forms and a separating comma.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: consume more goods than the past Suggested revision: consume more goods than in the past Why it matters: The comparison is between current and past consumption, so “in” is required before the time period.
- 4. Use the standard phrase Original: get to be in debt Suggested revision: get into debt Why it matters: “Get into debt” is the conventional expression for becoming indebted.
- 5. Use a direct cause phrase Original: because of buying goods Suggested revision: by buying goods Why it matters: The preposition “by” directly identifies the action that causes the debt.
- 6. Complete the verb meaning Original: could not pay Suggested revision: cannot afford Why it matters: The present claim requires “cannot,” and “afford” correctly expresses an inability to pay for the goods.
- 7. Correct the institution Original: band Suggested revision: bank Why it matters: “Band” is a spelling error because credit cards are issued by a bank.
- 8. Correct the noun Original: shorts Suggested revision: sorts Why it matters: “Sorts” means types, whereas “shorts” has an unrelated meaning.
- 9. Use the correct verb Original: allure Suggested revision: entice Why it matters: “Entice” naturally describes encouraging people to buy, while “allure” is not used transitively this way here.
- 10. Complete the opening phrase Original: While repaying, people get trapped Suggested revision: While repaying their debts, people become trapped Why it matters: The participial phrase needs an object to state what people are repaying.
- 11. Use the correct collocation Original: take place some solutions Suggested revision: implement some solutions Why it matters: Solutions are implemented or adopted; they do not “take place.”
- 12. Fix possession and number Original: control their customer purchasing Suggested revision: control their customers' purchases Why it matters: The plural possessive and noun correctly refer to purchases made by multiple customers.
Suggested Rewrites
- the incomes of people people's incomes
- are increasing and they start are increasing, and they are starting
- consume more goods than the past consume more goods than in the past
- get to be in debt get into debt
- because of buying goods by buying goods
- could not pay cannot afford
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response directly addresses both causes and prevention, and its strongest feature is the range of relevant reasons and practical measures, especially the discussion of easy credit. Its main limitation is that several ideas are repetitive or insufficiently convincing, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer solutions more realistically and edit sentences for accurate collocations, agreement, and reference.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions with relevant causes and preventive actions, although the impulse-buying reasons overlap and some proposed controls are not fully justified.
Develop fewer, more distinct causes and explain how each proposed measure would work realistically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly from causes to solutions and the conclusion, but some linking is mechanical and relationships between sentences are occasionally loose.
Group each main cause or solution around one controlling idea and use linkers only where the logical relationship needs clarification.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce accuracy.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as language about losing control, taking action, and giving advice with natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, though recurring errors with articles, agreement, pronouns, and prepositions remain noticeable.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement, clear pronoun reference, and correct article and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.