Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages?
Sample Response
With the development of new technologies, people’s life is now more comfortable than it was in the past. In these days it is almost unimaginable that one modern household functions without refrigerators, washing machines, microwave oven, and other appliances. A rapid development of these technologies brings with itself a lot of advantages, but negatively effects these useful technological devices have on humans and environment could not be ignored. With today’s available consumer goods, people do not have much trouble to keep their foods or clothes in the condition that will be useful for them in every occasion. Time spent in preparation of food, washing or ironing of clothes, is far less these days than it used to be in the past, and thanks to new technologies. Just hundred years ago it was unimaginable that you could keep your meats and other food items for months, to prepare some meals in just a couple of minutes or to wash a large number of clothes in just 30 minutes. That is the biggest advantage of these consumer goods, Modern people spend far less time in doing house chores than they used to. In this way, people can save time, and time is the most valuable aspect in the modern society. But, on the other hand, use of appliances in such huge quantity brings with itself higher energy consumptions that lead to a higher environmental pollution all around the world. Since most of our energy is produced from the fossil fuels and coals, further increasing of energy consumption will lead to greater consumption of these non-renewable resources of energy which harm our environment. Even today the Earth is on the highest level of pollution in its history. So it is understandable why people warn on use and overuse of consumer goods. At the end, modern appliances are invented to make people’s life easier and they are successful in that, but the question is- 'what cost it will bound us to pay?' I am sure that in the future these consumer goods will be more energy efficient with lesser energy consumptions for their work, and that will still make the life of people easier and more convenient like they do today.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural agreement Original: people’s life is now Suggested revision: people’s lives are now Why it matters: The plural possessive “people’s” requires the plural noun and verb.
- 2. Use the natural time phrase Original: In these days Suggested revision: Nowadays Why it matters: “In these days” is not idiomatic when referring generally to the present period.
- 3. Use the indefinite article Original: one Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The sentence refers to a typical household rather than the number one.
- 4. Use a hypothetical modal Original: functions without Suggested revision: could function without Why it matters: After “unimaginable,” the modal correctly expresses the hypothetical situation.
- 5. Add the article Original: microwave oven Suggested revision: a microwave oven Why it matters: The singular countable noun requires an article in this list.
- 6. Use parallel gerunds Original: preparation of food Suggested revision: preparing food Why it matters: A gerund makes this activity parallel with “washing” and “ironing.”
- 7. Remove the unnecessary preposition Original: washing or ironing of clothes Suggested revision: washing or ironing clothes Why it matters: The gerunds can take “clothes” directly as their object.
- 8. Repair the sentence ending Original: , and thanks to new technologies Suggested revision: thanks to new technologies Why it matters: Removing the comma and conjunction connects the cause directly to the comparison.
- 9. Add the article Original: Just hundred years ago Suggested revision: Just a hundred years ago Why it matters: “Hundred” requires an article when it denotes this quantity.
- 10. Use the uncountable noun Original: your meats Suggested revision: meat Why it matters: “Meat” is normally uncountable when referring generally to food.
- 11. Keep the verb series parallel Original: to prepare some meals Suggested revision: prepare some meals Why it matters: The verb must remain parallel with “keep” after the shared modal “could.”
- 12. Maintain verb parallelism Original: or to wash Suggested revision: or wash Why it matters: The third verb should also use the bare infinitive after the shared modal “could.”
Suggested Rewrites
- people’s life is now people’s lives are now
- In these days Nowadays
- one a
- functions without could function without
- microwave oven a microwave oven
- preparation of food preparing food
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay gives relevant, extended explanations of time-saving household benefits and the environmental cost of higher energy use. Its main limitation is that it never states clearly whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and frequent language errors make several sentences awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to present an explicit comparative judgement in the introduction and conclusion, then support it through clearly separated paragraphs and more controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are developed with relevant examples, but the required overall judgement remains unclear.
State explicitly which side outweighs the other and explain the basis for that comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly logical movement from benefits to environmental costs and a final reflection, but it lacks paragraphing.
Separate the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss convenience and pollution, but frequent word-form and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use accurate phrases such as negative effects, energy consumption, fossil fuels, household chores, and warn against overuse.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent agreement, article, plural, punctuation, and clause errors weaken control.
Revise one clause at a time, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject, verb, and correctly punctuated ending.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages?
Your response
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