Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is a fact that more families these days have electronic households such freezers, vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, room heater, water heater and laundry machines than ever before. This trend has some positive and negative aspects but I personally believe that it has more disadvantages than advantages and this is due to the environmental damage they cause.
It is noticed that the number of families that have consumer goods at their home has increased rapidly in the past few years. The main reason behind this trend is because of people’s busy lifestyle. They have less time to do their household activities and therefore they are relying on their electronic devices. For example, city people who are busy with their works are relying on their microwave oven and cooker for preparing their meals. The oven could be utilised for preparing instant food which would save some time for them. Therefore, some people believe that the existence of electronic household devices brings a lot of benefits for them.
On the other hand, another group of people believe that it is not a good trend because they think that these devices could have some negative effects on the human body. For instance, devices such as microwave ovens or refrigerators produce radiation that could result a serious threat to the human body. In such cases, the usage of microwave oven has triggered serious diseases such as tumour and cancer. Another example would be about the usage of CFC as it is used in electronic products such as air conditioner and freezer. Many people do not realise that the usage of CFC has a fatal effect on the environment, as it triggers global warming. No doubt the modern electronic devices that we use daily have made our life easier and brought many luxuries in our life but the damages those devices cause is a big threat in our existence.
In conclusion, it is true that the number of people who own electronic household devices has grown significantly in the past few years. In spite of all the benefits, I personally believe that it has more drawbacks for our life, as these electronic products could have some serious effects on our body and the environment as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the items correctly Original: electronic households Suggested revision: household appliances Why it matters: Households are homes or families; the listed goods are household appliances.
- 2. Complete the example phrase Original: such freezers Suggested revision: such as freezers Why it matters: The phrase introducing examples requires 'such as'.
- 3. Use consistent plurals Original: vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, room heater, water heater and laundry machines Suggested revision: vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, room heaters, water heaters and washing machines Why it matters: Items in this general list should use consistent plural forms and standard appliance names.
- 4. Separate independent clauses Original: aspects but I Suggested revision: aspects, but I Why it matters: A comma is needed before 'but' when it joins two independent clauses.
- 5. Fix preposition and number Original: at their home Suggested revision: in their homes Why it matters: The natural phrase is 'in their homes', with a plural noun matching multiple families.
- 6. Remove the double cause Original: reason behind this trend is because of Suggested revision: reason for this trend is Why it matters: Using both 'reason' and 'because of' creates a redundant causal structure.
- 7. Fix number agreement Original: people’s busy lifestyle Suggested revision: people's busy lifestyles Why it matters: The plural possessive 'people's' refers to multiple lifestyles in this general statement.
- 8. Use the standard term Original: do their household activities Suggested revision: complete their household chores Why it matters: 'Household chores' is the natural term for routine domestic work.
- 9. Fix tense and punctuation Original: therefore they are relying Suggested revision: therefore, they rely Why it matters: A general trend takes the simple present, and the connector needs a comma.
- 10. Use a natural noun Original: people Suggested revision: residents Why it matters: 'City residents' is the standard expression for people who live in cities.
- 11. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: 'Work' is uncountable when referring generally to employment or tasks.
- 12. Match the plural subject Original: their microwave oven and cooker Suggested revision: their microwave ovens and cookers Why it matters: The plural group 'city residents' requires plural appliance nouns in this general claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- electronic households household appliances
- such freezers such as freezers
- vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, room heater, water heater and laundry machines vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, room heaters, water heaters and washing machines
- aspects but I aspects, but I
- at their home in their homes
- reason behind this trend is because of reason for this trend is
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear judgement and explains the convenience of household appliances before considering possible environmental and health disadvantages. Its organisation is easy to follow, but the main case depends on unsupported or inaccurate claims that ordinary microwave ovens and refrigerators cause cancer and that CFC use directly triggers global warming; frequent language errors also reduce authority. Prioritise credible evidence about energy consumption, emissions, electronic waste, and resource use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear position, but its principal negative arguments rely on questionable factual claims.
Replace radiation and cancer assertions with defensible disadvantages such as electricity demand, manufacturing emissions, repair waste, and disposal of old appliances.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a logical movement from convenience to disadvantages and conclusion support overall progression, despite some repetition.
Use explicit comparative weighing in the final body paragraph rather than repeating that appliances have both benefits and harms.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for appliances and environmental effects, but inaccurate word forms, collocations, and repeated usage reduce precision.
Use household appliances, busy schedules, rely on, pose a threat, energy consumption, refrigerants, environmental damage, and quality of life.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied structures, but errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, countable nouns, and relative clauses recur while meaning stays clear.
Check noun phrases and verb complements, especially household appliances such as, busy with their work, result in, damage caused by devices, and a threat to existence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.