In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. What do you think are the reasons behind this?
Sample Response
Cricket is a sport which includes two opposite teams played by 11 players on each side and it is one of the most popular outdoor sports in these modern days. The total number of audience and the importance of this game have evolved beyond boundaries in the recent times than ever, particularly in countries like India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan etc. and I believe the number of reasons contributed towards this change is numerous. But it is undoubtedly arguable that the significance of cricket has crossed as that of the national games, in almost all these countries. Being an Indian, I would consider my self-privileged to explain what happened in India which has, in turn, helped cricket to be a celebrated game. The national sport of India is declared as hockey and India always has had a wonderful hockey team now and in the past. But it is quite evident that during the mid-80s the exposure cricket had received internationally is commendable when compared to any other sport, so as in India too. Those days, hockey was also given similar importance but with India's victory of International Cricket Council's world cup in the early 90s, the dream of an Asian country winning an international title has become a dream come true for not only Indians but also for the other subcontinents in Asia. Ever since then, the players were treated as celebrities and apparently the popularity of the game has increased and as time has passed, India became one of the most successful and a record winning team in the entire world. Adding to the flavour, it would be insensitive, if I do not count the contributions of individual cricket players and their influence in the Indian community. Some players like Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly has been an envied opening partnership for all other opponent countries, and they have been very successful in making and achieving new records day by day. Sachin Tendulkar alone holds more than 200 records in the game of Cricket and he is the most run scorer and century holder in all forms of cricket. Additionally, when we go back to the history of cricket it is worth mentioning that, cricket has its root of origin to England, and I presume being a colony to the English for around 200 years until 1947, cricket has got widely popularised during these days. In summary, although, I have so many other reasons to be specifically pointed out, I consider the above said details are most significant to be told. However, I would be more than eager to witness what sport could possibly replace Cricket from its position in the future, as I believe change is inevitable and the world is dynamic.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use audience count phrase Original: The total number of audience Suggested revision: The total audience size Why it matters: “Audience” is a collective noun, so its size rather than its number is measured here.
- 2. Fix agreement and meaning Original: the importance of this game have evolved beyond boundaries Suggested revision: the popularity of this game has grown beyond national boundaries Why it matters: The singular subject requires “has,” and popularity can grow across boundaries.
- 3. Correct time comparison Original: in the recent times than ever Suggested revision: more than ever in recent years Why it matters: This is the natural structure for comparing current and previous popularity.
- 4. Remove contradictory wording Original: undoubtedly arguable Suggested revision: undeniable Why it matters: “Undoubtedly arguable” combines contradictory meanings.
- 5. Correct comparison structure Original: the significance of cricket has crossed as that of Suggested revision: the popularity of cricket has surpassed that of Why it matters: “Surpassed that of” correctly compares cricket's popularity with another sport's.
- 6. Use consistent sport term Original: games Suggested revision: sports Why it matters: “Sports” matches the terminology and meaning used in the prompt.
- 7. Join reflexive pronoun Original: my self-privileged Suggested revision: myself privileged Why it matters: The reflexive pronoun “myself” is written as one word without a hyphen.
- 8. Remove reporting preposition Original: is declared as hockey Suggested revision: is hockey Why it matters: The linking verb directly connects the subject and complement without “declared as.”
- 9. Place adverb naturally Original: always has had Suggested revision: has always had Why it matters: The frequency adverb belongs between the auxiliary and main verb.
- 10. Clarify time span Original: now and in the past Suggested revision: both now and historically Why it matters: This phrase presents the two time periods clearly and concisely.
- 11. Fix tense and punctuation Original: during the mid-80s the exposure cricket had received internationally is commendable Suggested revision: during the mid-1980s, the international exposure cricket received was remarkable Why it matters: The past period requires past tense and a comma after the introductory phrase.
- 12. Clarify included location Original: so as in India too Suggested revision: including in India Why it matters: The original linking phrase is not grammatical English.
Suggested Rewrites
- The total number of audience The total audience size
- the importance of this game have evolved beyond boundaries the popularity of this game has grown beyond national boundaries
- in the recent times than ever more than ever in recent years
- undoubtedly arguable undeniable
- the significance of cricket has crossed as that of the popularity of cricket has surpassed that of
- games sports
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay's strongest feature is its substantial, relevant explanation of cricket's popularity through international success, celebrity players, and colonial history, supported by concrete Indian examples. Its main limitation is organisation: the entire response forms one long paragraph, and lengthy sentences and awkward wording obscure the progression. Prioritise separating the reasons into focused paragraphs and expressing each causal link more concisely and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response answers the question with several relevant and extended reasons, although the lengthy introduction and closing remarks dilute the focus.
State the main reasons briefly at the outset and devote each body paragraph to explaining one clear cause of cricket's popularity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons follow a broadly understandable sequence and linking phrases are present, but the absence of paragraphing and several overloaded sentences impede progression.
Divide the essay into an introduction, one paragraph per main reason, and a concise conclusion with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of sports and historical vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise expressions reduce naturalness.
Use accurate combinations such as television exposure, record-breaking team, leading run-scorer, and introduced during colonial rule.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, article, tense, and clause-control errors recur throughout the long sentences.
Shorten multi-clause sentences and proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement, articles, and consistent tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. What do you think are the reasons behind this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.