There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
An act is considered a crime if its nature violates existing lawsdeviates from the prevailing laws though there are different aspects and types of crimes, I would like to brief up crimes which result in imprisonment. A person is imprisoned so that the wider communitythe living society is not harmed by their actionsby his acts and so that the inmate has a chance to reformand also a chance that the inmate gets corrected.
Although prison can prevent crime,We see that prison certainly prevents crime but there are also more effective ways in whichcertain better ways by which a person can be deterred from committing crimerestrained from committing crimes. Firstly by maintaining a complete database of the suspected offendersdoubtful citizens, this can be done by the police department because they possess the data of each and every individual and using this data their activitieshis/her activities can be monitored and a close watchcheck can be kept on such suspicious persons. Secondly, counselling should be provided to peoplecounseling should be done to persons who are likelysusceptible to commit crimes.
There are many ways to prevent crimes besides those stated aboveapart from the above stated and they would certainly control the crime rate and rehabilitate offenderscorrect the anti-social elements prevailing in our societies, for instance, a person commits robbery due to the want of money and if the victim opposes, the robber tries to harm the victim and steals the valuables.
We see that common crimes are committedgeneral crimes are done because of hunger and lack of moneydue to hunger, want of money, poverty and unemployment. If the authorities address these causeshave a check on the above-stated reasons and care is taken to check the situation of the person, no doubt then a majority of the crimes can be reduced.
Apart from the above, there are certain crimes which are done in haste, these types of crimes can be controlled by delivering psychological counselling to such people and diverting their minds by inducing them to various other recreational activities like meditation, yoga and spiritual thinking etc.
As far as my opinion is concerned it is good that a person should think twice before committing crime and such thoughts are to be inculcated into his mind and certainly there will be a drastic downfall in crime rate and subsequently reduction in state’s exchequer envisaged for handling prisons. But prisons are also necessary for handling heinous criminals and with prisons their effect on society can be controlled. There are many other ways to prevent crime but the need of such alternatives has to be debated on a broader scale before taking a decision.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay considers several preventive alternatives and reaches a qualified view that counselling and social measures can reduce crime while prisons remain necessary for serious offenders. Its main limitations are uneven support, repetition, and some proposals whose relevance or practicality is not clearly established. The priority is to select two strong alternatives, explain how each prevents crime, and compare their effectiveness directly with imprisonment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the view and offers a nuanced conclusion, but several alternatives are only partly explained and the robbery example describes crime more than prevention.
Develop two credible preventive measures with explicit mechanisms and evidence, then state clearly when they are preferable to prison.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and sequencing markers create broad progression, but repetition, long sentences, and loosely connected examples make the argument uneven.
Give each body paragraph one prevention strategy, followed by its mechanism, an example, and a direct link back to the comparison with prison.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range for crime, policing, social causes, and rehabilitation, but frequent unnatural combinations make parts of the argument imprecise.
Use standard terms such as ‘suspected offenders’, ‘crime prevention’, ‘address underlying causes’, and ‘reduce prison expenditure’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is attempted, but comma splices, faulty passives, article errors, and overloaded clauses frequently strain readability.
Break long sentences into controlled clauses and check passive constructions, articles, and prepositions before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.