Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
Some people feel that cultural traditions are ruined when people use them to make money from tourists. Others claim that using these traditions as money-making ventures is the only way to save them. In my opinion, both views are true to a certain extent.
To begin with, many traditional customs are modified for commercialization and eventuallyfor commercialization, and eventually lose their originality and value. For example, Vietnamese traditional dances such as the lion dance, which were traditionally performed only by martial artists during special occasions, are now often poorly performed by amateurs at tourist sites across the country. Such changes not only give foreign visitors a false impressionbut also make, but can also make the dance less meaningful to the local people. Also, many sacred sitestraditionally sacred sites are heavily damaged by the irresponsible behaviourbehaviors of tourists. For instance, a well-known Youtuber named Logan Paul visited Japan and filmed himself dumping a bag of coins into a sacred well, where people often drop coins for luck, and did permanent damage to one of Japan’s most iconic traditionsmost famous iconic traditions.
On the other hand, there are several reasons why making money from cultural traditions is the only way to protect them. Firstly, the revenue could be used to preserveused for the preservation of such traditions. For example, many people in the village of Bat TrangBat Trang village in Vietnam make their living from selling traditional ceramic products, and thus are able to continue one of the oldest traditions in Vietnam. Secondly, by putting cultural traditionstradtions on public display, the government could raise people’s awareness of the need to preserveheighten people’s awareness of preserving these traditions. For instance, the Vietnamese government has built several museums around the country that solely exhibit examples of ethnic minority cultures in an attempt to protect cultural values without affecting the lives of these ethnic people, yet successfully gathering much public attention and support.
In conclusion, using cultural traditions as money-making attractions has both positive and negative impacts on the preservation of such traditions.
TR: 8.0 CC: 9.0 LR: 8.0 GRA: 9.0
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents both perspectives clearly and supports them with specific, generally well-explained examples, while its controlled organisation and varied language make the argument easy to follow. The main limitation is that the writer’s own position remains broad and the example about the sacred well does not clearly demonstrate commercialisation. A sharper final judgement and more precisely relevant evidence would make the argument fully convincing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed with relevant reasons and examples, and a qualified position is stated, though the personal judgement remains rather general.
Clarify exactly when tourism preserves traditions and when it destroys them, then ensure every example directly illustrates that distinction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and without distracting repetition.
Strengthen the connection between each example and its paragraph claim so that the reasoning advances even more seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and generally precise vocabulary for culture, tourism, and preservation, with only occasional spelling or collocational imprecision.
Proofread for slips such as "tradtions" and replace vague or awkward combinations with the most exact term for the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede communication.
Review complex participle constructions, particularly the awkward "yet successfully gathering" phrase, to maintain full control in longer sentences.