Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is argued that cultural traditions are destroyed when showcasing them for profitable activities by enticing visitors. In contrast, others believe that selling souvenirs are only a source to save such traditions. In my perspective, cultural traditions can be perpetuated by displaying handcraft, ornaments and to name but a few to foreign visitors; otherwise, visitors will not take an interest in these traditions.
At the outset, there are myriad places where tourists visit, and if souvenirs are sold to earn money, it will have a false impression on the visitors, and instead of appreciating local art or other craftworks, they will purchase the tokens of that place. They will not disseminate the information about those places to others. In this way, fewer people will visit, and it will be a real threat to the disappearance of indigenous culture, and it may prove counter-productive. For instance, in many art museums and art galleries, gifts are sold, and this thing diminishes the value of that place, and a country’s reputation is also ruined among tourists. The classic example is Mera Pind in Amritsar, where visitors buy souvenirs and visit these places less after visiting for once.
On the other hand, cultural traditions can be kept alive only by displaying the moment of those places. This will be a source of income for the locals, but it will also help generate a nation’s economy. Indigenous people will represent their culture and other products to the alien countrymen. Thus, it is a way to spread culture to other Nations as tourists don’t belong to a particular place. I think local people must display the speciality of their place to save their culture and earn their livelihood. They must represent in such a way that it will have a good impression on the tourists and they can automatically feel compelled to visit those places again and again.
In conclusion, selling symbols of cultural traditions is a good way to protect such traditions and boost the economy of a nation and for the native people, who do hard toil to make products of their culture and sell them and indirectly help in spreading their culture.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore requires the singular verb 'is'.
- 2. Use accurate phrase Original: source Suggested revision: way Why it matters: 'A way to save' expresses a method, whereas 'a source' does not fit this meaning.
- 3. Fix preposition Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The standard expression is 'from my perspective'.
- 4. Fix relative clause Original: where Suggested revision: that Why it matters: 'That' correctly introduces a clause in which 'places' is the object of 'visit'.
- 5. Fix impression collocation Original: it will have a false impression on the visitors Suggested revision: this will give visitors a false impression Why it matters: People are given an impression; an action does not have an impression on them.
- 6. Use natural noun Original: craftworks Suggested revision: crafts Why it matters: 'Crafts' is the more natural general term for locally made artistic objects.
- 7. Clarify the objects Original: tokens of that place Suggested revision: souvenirs from that place Why it matters: 'Souvenirs' names the objects directly and connects them clearly to the destination.
- 8. Use natural wording Original: disseminate the information Suggested revision: share information Why it matters: 'Share information' is more natural for tourists telling other people about a place.
- 9. Fix threat collocation Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: A threat is expressed with 'of' when it refers to the danger of an event occurring.
- 10. Use precise reference Original: thing Suggested revision: practice Why it matters: 'This practice' refers precisely to selling gifts in museums and galleries.
- 11. Fix revisit expression Original: visit these places less after visiting for once Suggested revision: are less likely to revisit these places Why it matters: The replacement expresses reduced repeat visits with a grammatical and concise construction.
- 12. Use intended noun Original: displaying the moment of those places Suggested revision: displaying mementos from those places Why it matters: 'Mementos' refers to objects that preserve memories, while 'moment' refers to a point in time.
Suggested Rewrites
- are is
- source way
- In From
- where that
- it will have a false impression on the visitors this will give visitors a false impression
- craftworks crafts
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly covers both perspectives and maintains a consistent view that commercial activity can help preserve traditions and support local livelihoods. Its main limitation is that several arguments, especially the claim that souvenir sales reduce future tourism, are weakly explained or unconvincing, while frequent awkward phrasing reduces precision. The priority is to develop each viewpoint through a clear cause-and-effect chain supported by a specific, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but some central claims are only partly developed or logically unconvincing.
Explain why commercialisation either harms or preserves a tradition through precise cause-and-effect reasoning and a credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though long chains of ideas and some vague references weaken local cohesion.
Divide overloaded sentences into focused steps and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references are unmistakable.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prioritise natural combinations such as create a negative impression, preserve cultural practices, and earn a living over ambitious but imprecise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and clause-control errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and rebuild long coordinated sentences as shorter, correctly punctuated units.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others say this is the only way to save such traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.