Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Sample Response
Throughout the human history, dancing has always been an important part of our culture, society and ritual. This is considered as one of the most effective and ancient ways of communication and people all over the world have their traditional dancing styles that not only reflect their unique way of traditions but also their history and culture. I quite agree that dancing plays a very crucial role in a culture. If we look back to the history, dancing was a form of entertainment and an excellent outline of arts in all civilisations. It was even a way of performing ritual acts in many civilisations. The main reason it presents the culture of a society is because it is a fascinating combination of different forms of arts including music, songs, costumes, vibrant colours, performance and story. Each of these art forms presents a unique identity of a nation and thus when they are combined together, they become the icon of a nation. If we observe the art forms used in a dancing performance, we are sure to get a very vivid impression of a particular society and their way of life. Again, the dancing has many forms and it varies from civilisation to civilisation. Even a small tribe who has different cultural aspects has a different way of body movements, costumes and music while performing dances. Thus dancing also teaches us about the past history and traditions. For instance, ancient dancing that used the body and facial painting, quite primitive costumes and body movements are totally different than the modern dancing and both of them represents two different periods, civilisations and cultures. Finally, people’s presentation of happiness, joy, sadness, prayer, story and purposes through different forms of dancing is an excellent means of conveying human feelings and probably a very ancient mean of communication. As communication is the primary way of expressing culture and tradition, dancing plays a vital role in doing so. To sum up, dancing is always a part of our history, tradition and culture and it helps keep people's traditions alive through the ages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove article Original: Throughout the human history Suggested revision: Throughout human history Why it matters: Human history is used without the definite article in this general expression.
- 2. Fix verb pattern Original: considered as one of Suggested revision: considered one of Why it matters: Considered takes a direct complement here without as.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: dancing Suggested revision: dance Why it matters: Dance is the conventional modifier before styles.
- 4. Remove unclear phrase Original: unique way of traditions Suggested revision: unique traditions Why it matters: Way of traditions is not an idiomatic expression and obscures the intended meaning.
- 5. Avoid redundant intensifier Original: very crucial Suggested revision: crucial Why it matters: Crucial already expresses a very high degree of importance.
- 6. Fix preposition and article Original: look back to the history Suggested revision: look back at history Why it matters: Look back takes at, and history needs no article in this general reference.
- 7. Use accurate collocation Original: excellent outline of arts Suggested revision: excellent form of art Why it matters: Form of art accurately describes dancing, whereas outline of arts does not.
- 8. Use precise verb Original: presents Suggested revision: represents Why it matters: Represents means to embody or express a culture, while presents has a different meaning.
- 9. Use uncountable art Original: arts Suggested revision: art Why it matters: Art is uncountable when referring generally to creative expression.
- 10. Keep list parallel Original: story Suggested revision: storytelling Why it matters: Storytelling names an art form and fits the grammatical pattern of the list.
- 11. Use concise phrase Original: a unique identity of a nation Suggested revision: a unique national identity Why it matters: National identity is the standard concise expression for this concept.
- 12. Fix article choice Original: the icon of a nation Suggested revision: an icon of the nation Why it matters: Icon is one possible symbol, so the indefinite article is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- Throughout the human history Throughout human history
- considered as one of considered one of
- dancing dance
- unique way of traditions unique traditions
- very crucial crucial
- look back to the history look back at history
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a firm position and develops several relevant ways in which dance embodies and transmits culture, supported by a concrete historical comparison. The main limitation is repetition of broad claims, compounded by awkward collocations and recurring grammatical errors. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the ideas into distinct paragraphs and express each cultural function with more precise, naturally controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and several relevant cultural functions of dance are explained with appropriate supporting detail.
Make the argument more incisive by reducing repeated claims and developing one especially specific example of cultural transmission.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a generally logical sequence with clear signposting, but the lack of paragraph breaks and some repetition weaken overall organisation.
Group the discussion into separate body paragraphs for artistic identity, historical continuity, and communication, each with a focused topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably wide range of cultural and artistic vocabulary is used, though several word choices and collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Refine collocations involving tradition, art forms, historical periods, and communication, while avoiding redundant phrases such as repeated references to history.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but errors in articles, agreement, comparison forms, and noun forms occur regularly.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and article control, then proofread complex sentences for accurate comparison and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.