Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Sample Response
Dancing is one of the ancient means of communication. People of every country have their own national music and dances. In old times people performed special rituals to make bad spirits go away and ask gods for fertile soil, good harvest, health and good weather. So, dancing plays an important role in a culture. Moreover, dancing of a particular country reflects its traditions, customs and history. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my answer. First of all, the reason why dancing of a particular country is so unique is because many art forms are put together. People need music, costumes, singers to perform, players and of cause dancers. Each of these art forms is unique and singular for every country. In old times people gathered to celebrate or mourn and every occasion had its own music and costumes. For example, ancient tribes painted their faces with ugly and strange patterns, put on colourful clothes and make strange movements around the fireplace. Secondly, dancing is a combination of body movements that are peculiar to every nation. People of different nations have different bodily movements because dancing is one of the first means of communication. People differently express their feelings such as happiness, sadness, joy and sorrow through movements of their bodies. Every country has a different famous dancing style that represents its culture and custom. The traditional dancers wear dresses according to the country’s own heritage and this costume is a part of the tradition of the country too. To sum up, I think that dancing keeps people's traditions alive through the ages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: one of the ancient means Suggested revision: an ancient means Why it matters: The shorter form expresses the idea more naturally without implying a defined set of means.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use 'in' to locate people within countries.
- 3. Add definite article Original: ask gods for fertile soil Suggested revision: ask the gods for fertile soil Why it matters: The plural noun refers to the particular gods worshipped in these rituals and needs the definite article.
- 4. Add definite article Original: Moreover, dancing of a particular country Suggested revision: Moreover, the dancing of a particular country Why it matters: The specific dancing associated with a country requires the definite article here.
- 5. Add definite article Original: why dancing of a particular country Suggested revision: why the dancing of a particular country Why it matters: The noun phrase needs 'the' because it denotes a country's particular tradition.
- 6. Correct word choice Original: players and of cause dancers Suggested revision: instrumentalists and, of course, dancers Why it matters: 'Of course' is the correct expression, and 'instrumentalists' identifies the intended performers precisely.
- 7. Avoid redundant wording Original: unique and singular Suggested revision: distinctive Why it matters: The two adjectives repeat the same meaning, so one precise adjective is clearer.
- 8. Maintain past tense Original: make Suggested revision: made Why it matters: The example describes what ancient tribes did, so the verb should remain in the past tense.
- 9. Fix adverb position Original: People differently express their feelings Suggested revision: People express their feelings differently Why it matters: The manner adverb sounds natural after the object in this clause.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: different famous dancing style Suggested revision: distinctive dance style Why it matters: 'Distinctive dance style' conveys the intended cultural uniqueness more naturally.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: custom Suggested revision: customs Why it matters: A national tradition normally comprises multiple customs, so the plural form is needed.
- 12. Match plural reference Original: this costume is a part Suggested revision: these costumes are a part Why it matters: The demonstrative and verb should agree with the previously mentioned plural 'dresses'.
Suggested Rewrites
- one of the ancient means an ancient means
- of in
- ask gods for fertile soil ask the gods for fertile soil
- Moreover, dancing of a particular country Moreover, the dancing of a particular country
- why dancing of a particular country why the dancing of a particular country
- players and of cause dancers instrumentalists and, of course, dancers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant points about ritual, artistic tradition, non-verbal communication, and national dress. Its main limitation is that several ideas are repetitive or broadly asserted rather than precisely developed, while the lack of paragraph breaks weakens the presentation. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two main reasons into distinct paragraphs and deepen each with a more specific cultural example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported by relevant reasons about dance preserving and expressing culture, although some claims remain general or repetitive.
Develop each main reason with a precise real-world example and explain more explicitly how it proves dance's cultural importance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognisable introduction-to-reasons-to-conclusion progression, but the single-block presentation and mechanical sequencing reduce cohesion.
Separate the introduction, two main ideas, and conclusion into clear paragraphs, using reference and logical links instead of repeated signposting.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, including language about rituals, traditions, and bodily expression, but several collocations and word choices are awkward.
Use more natural combinations such as traditional dances and musicians, and proofread imprecise choices such as of cause and singular.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, though article, preposition, agreement, and tense errors recur.
Improve control of noun phrases and verb forms, especially in constructions such as the dances of a country and past-tense examples.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.